My imagination has been all over the place since I saw the prompt. Imagine I am already too deep into a relationship, and my partner suddenly opens up about having a supernatural power of reading mind. Not just reading body language or having sharp intuition but actually hearing my thoughts. He has been aware of all my emotions, feelings, lies, and every secret I wasn't ready to share with anyone. That would be overwhelming for me. Honestly, it would knock me out.
I consider myself a very easygoing and kind person, and I believe in giving people space. But even I have thoughts that go places I don't always intend. My mind can wander out of curiosity, fear or frustration. And knowing that someone could hear all of that? When my mind gets messy, and someone quietly listening and processing everything, would leave me feeling exposed. I would never get a chance to sort through my own emotions or thoughts without them already knowing what I am thinking and forming their own judgement before I would even figure it out myself.
That would feel like a betrayal. A relationship is based on trust, transparency and honesty; he decided to hide all that from me, didn't trust me enough to tell me at the initial stage and didn't give me the chance to choose if I would be able to handle someone that could read mind, it would break my heart.
Strangely, it reminds me of the movie "Doctor Dolittle". The doctor has a secret where he can communicate with animals. At first, no one knew; he hid it out of fear of being seen as strange. In the same way, my partner might have hidden his power out of fear. But when someone can understand your thoughts without permission, it creates an uneven relationship. Like Dr Dolittle, he holds quiet power over me; he knows more than I am willing to share.
And yet, If they chose to stay with me despite the complicated thoughts I have ever had without judging me, I would consider he truly does love me. Perhaps he was afraid that the truth would stop me from being in a relationship with him or even change the way I behaved around him. It is possible that knowing it at the beginning would have been complicated and seen as a threat to me.
Still, I might be willing to forgive him for not being open to me, depending on the person that he is. If he is someone who would never use that power to hurt me or share what he heard, then maybe we could walk through it. It will be a gradual process of healing and clearing boundaries to protect my mental space.
Sometimes when I am having a string of negative thoughts, I might just have to send him far away from me. I know I tend to counter those thoughts with something positive, but I still wouldn't want to be an open book all the time. I might even start singing in my mind to distract him, just to claim a little bit of privacy for myself.
If I had known at the start, I wouldn't have gotten into the relationship. It's a gift, though, and he doesn't have control of it, but still, I would have chosen privacy. The idea of someone having access to my mind from day one is terrifying. I would have stepped back and protected myself, no matter how much I liked him.
