In matters of the heart trust your common sense. Only you can decide whether any relationship is for your growth or not. A rule of thumb is that a person's state of mind can be perceived somewhat by their cleanliness. Every clean person is not necessarily a highly unfolded being, but it certainly is true that no highly evolved individual is habitually dirty or slovenly.
Those with pure love do all they can to let their mates grow in every way. So we come to the real meaning of detached love. The love with no conditions tied to it. It means to let others exist without forcing our will upon them. A friendship, for instance, may start on a high level. But once the two people begin to know each other better, the friendship is threatened when one gives a gift with strings attached. That's control, or power, trying to enter the relationship. See the ego at work?
No one has the final word on love, but consider the following points in deciding if you really love someone:
- Does he bring joy to your heart when you think of him?
- Do you want to make him happy?
- Will you love him for what he/she is and not try to change him/her?
- Young people tend to fall in love with their ideal of love. This means that one has the ideal of a Prince Charming who is really a toad. Not all Prince Charmings are toads, and not all toads are Prince Charming.
- Don't forget your self-worth. How does he/she treat you - like a treasure or someone to be used?
What then do you look for in a date? Can you respect their beliefs and feelings?...A light friendship is fairly easy to deal with, but when a special partner brings thoughts of marriage or a lasting relationship, look carefully at their family, their education, their plan for a family, their housekeeping habits, their handling of money. Are they like yours?
New love overlooks a lot of shortcomings, like a partner who spends more than they earn. But what happens when the debt pile up and a baby is suddenly on the way? Always remember, no matter how great your love for each other, things will always tug at it seams. The song of love is sung through respect and thoughtfulness for each other. They are the best assurance of a gracious and loving bond for years to come.
Thank you fro reading!