They look at me and see nothing.
They can't. I am gone.
I don't always know what is happening, never have I been part of the in-crowd. Nor do I ever wish to be.
Staying behind or on the outskirts has a peaceful quality that many only experience in retrospect given they ever just stop, breathe, and stop beating their damn head against my white wall. Sorry that is me, I should stop beating your head against my white wall.
Now that we are all calm and collected please observe. Being in the midst of things is draining. It overwhelms a person and abuses all your faculties.
My favourite feeling I have never been able to name but I call it quiet, and even now on the tip of my tongue I have another word for it but it won't come, similar I imagine, would be nice words like pensive, melancholy and just plain sad.
I think trying to keep up in the rat race is an aversion to sad, this is obviously not an astounding insight it is rather plain and stinks of guru juice. You know, people that are so enlightened that their smell runs down your nose.
As the world drips with the latest bling bling activity it is nice to not really be a part of it and be able to sit in the shade but most importantly not get wet and that includes not reaching for the drowning.
Your time for drowning will come, enjoy the respite.
cover: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-shirt-932231/
