To dwell over somebody or something that you don't like?
To plot pay-back or how you want to beat or defeat them at something?
Of course there could be many sources to the anger that you feel...
... but I shall be focussing upon situations where you perceive an antagonist.
While I never truly allowed myself to let these feelings boil over - I certainly spent more time mulling over the possibilities than I should ever have done.
And thats the thing. All that time and energy plotting the downfall of another is about as wasteful a use of both as I can now imagine.
Yes, I know that nobody likes to be wronged - and I am no exception.
The greater the wronging the greater the longing.
The greater the longing - the longer the longing.
It is simply not worth the baggage.
But it feels so right... right?
Its true.
Its not only a psychological change but a physiological change.
As you allow your anger to permeate into your thoughts you find yourself less at peace.
You find that you are having a harder time sleeping because you are always thinking about every aspect in which you have been wronged and about your payback. Even if payback is not a (realistic?) motive for you - you may will ill upon your antagonist.
You may eat more or less and your physical activity may vary also. You grow restless.
You may find yourself focussing less in the things that you either need to take care of - or love to indulge in. Your friendships may shift and even your closest relations may come under strain.
That which started out as a natural internal cry for justice may metamorph into a compulsive obsession that eats you up from within.
You might deal your payback...
...and feel a flash of triumph - of glee...
...which then subsides...
...to a hollowness.
People have a way of shifting perspective when they get what they think that they want. It is a phenomenon not too dissimilar from a drug addict getting his or her 'hit' after doing something nasty.
Of course not.
Even in your moment of triumph you may probably have shown yourself to be just as bad as, if not worse than, your antagonist. No wrong can be so grave as to justify your descent to such levels - no matter whom you are dealing with.
The kid who bullied you? The person who never paid back the money you lent to him or her? The person who killed your relative, accidentally or otherwise? A particular politician or leader past or present? A shadowy organization?
No.
Not necessarily nothing.
But allowing yourself to get consumed by anger or hatred is not going to help. There are specific survival-promoting instances where anger can be useful - and in the vast majority of cases you will find that the things you are tempted to get angry about do not fit within such narrow circumstances.
But there are productive channels for any anger that you might feel the need to hold on to.
Just remember to keep things safe.
It is easy to give in to temptation...
...but exacting revenge solves little-to-nothing...
...and dwelling upon it day after day...
...robs you of the healing that time brings.
Not to mention all that time and energy that you 'could' have been spending on more worthwhile things!
Lets have a discussion about this down in comments. It is a topic that should stir some feelings and talking them through is a good thing.
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If you have some feedback for me then feel free to share your views in comments. A civil conversation can go a long way.
Sincerely,
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