I didn’t love being single. What I loved even less was when the people in my life and even random strangers would ask, ‘Why are YOU single???’
I am a woman who LOVES being in relationship. Actually let me clarify… I am a woman who LOVES being in conscious relationship.
I love connecting, I love growth, I love intimacy, I love learning, I love observing.
I love sex and physical touch, I love falling asleep with a man and waking up wrapped in his arms.
I love how much I have learned about who I am and what I’m capable of. I love how he’s pushed and inspired me to be better than I ever thought possible. I love the space of non-judgment that he holds for me when I am working through my process.
So many poeple have asked, ‘Well then how did a highly sensitive, passionate, relationship loving woman like you manage to be single and celibate for over 7 years? Weren’t you lonely? Didn’t you miss sex? Didn’t you feel like there was something missing!”
My answer is, “Yes, yes and yes.” I was painfully lonely, totally missed sex, physical touch and intimacy. I missed masculine energy and it’s grounding presence. I missed strong hugs, being seen and being someone’s person. I missed falling asleep with a lover. I missed all of it. 💕❤️
But here’s what I didn’t miss while I was single and waiting for a conscious connection:
I didn’t miss fighting with an unconscious man and never feeling good enough. I didn’t miss trying to make a connection work that just wasn’t working.
I didn’t miss not being able to communicate and never EVER resolving issues. I didn’t miss brushing years of pain under the rug and plastering on a fake smile and pretending my heart was ok.
So I decided to take the space that singlehood presented to me and use it to fall madly in love with me. What I knew in my heart was that a man’s love wasn’t a replacement for SelfLove. I knew in my core I needed to learn what it meant to be connected to self and learn ME.
How could I know what I wanted from a partner if I had no clue who I was???
I know in the core of my being that the reason I called him into my space is because of the time I took to get to know me and to fall in love with every piece of me.
I dated myself, I started doing yoga and getting to know my body inside and out. I experimented with my style, I tried new hairstyles and bought all new underwear.
When we are connected to self we are never alone.
Keep loving you.
Keep connecting with you.
Keep making SelfLove a priority.
Keep radically accepting every inch of you.