Anna picked up her diary; it's still the same familiar heavy weight she usually feels when she's holding it. That's the weight of all her thoughts and delima poured in her diary. The whole room was silent apart from the sound of her pen and paper.
Dear diary,
It's me again. I had another abortion for Ben today, and this makes it the third one. The pain I feel is so excruciating; it's like there's an empty void inside of me that can't be filled by anything, and my whole body aches. But since it's for Ben, I would do everything and anything for him. I know he loves me. He tells me every time that I am the queen of his dynasty, his future.
He asked me to do this, to abort our third baby. He said he isn't ready to be a father, not because he's scared of the responsibility, but because he needs to make it big first. He says he doesn't want our kids to suffer, and I totally understand and agree with him. Ben doesn't want our kids to live a life of struggle like we are now. He wants to build an empire for us. And I believe him. I have to.
Anna closed her diary when she was done writing and dropped her pen on it. She leaned her head back; her eyes were crimson red and burning from tears she was too tired to shed. Her roommate, Jessica, looked at her with a mixture of pity and annoyance in her face.
Babe, "I have told you countless times to leave that useless so-called boyfriend of yours," Jessica said, with her voice filled with so much frustration and anger. Babe, you need to start living your own life for you."
I don't know what you see in Ben. It's not like the guy has money or anything. He's a broke-ass pauper who has nothing but his fine face. How can you stay with a man who doesn't respect or love you?"
Anna finally broke her silence in a calm and sad tone. "Please don't say that again. I am so sure Ben loves me, and he respects me. Yes, I know he does."
Jessica gave out a harsh and sarcastic laugh; the sound of it filled the entire room. "Love and respect you? No, girl, he does not. Someone who respects you would not bring another woman to the house you are paying rent for, let alone sleep with her in the same bed you both share.
Immediately Jessica said that the memory of Ben's escapades flashed through Anna's mind: she remembers everything in detail like it just happened a few minutes ago—the unfamiliar scent and the disgusting sounds from the other room—but she pushed it down like she always does, burying it under layers of excuses and Ben's whispered promises.
Jessica looked at Anna with genuine concern for her. Babe, how can you say he loves you with all he keeps putting you through? Why would someone who loves you make you go through the pain of three abortions? If he truly loved you, he would use protection instead of letting you suffer like this.
Images are ai generated
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