Just like the tale that says “ If a man is being hit by a pestle either by accident or knowingly and he says he felt nothing for the pestle effect is just like a feather. When he got home or left alone, he would be the one to sit with the pain” So who is deceiving whom which equals someone who is lying to themselves.
I can still remember vividly as if it were yesterday, the day I received this birthday gift. It was given to me by one of my boss who I saved his phone number as Mr. Sir. I admire him deeply maybe because we shared the same date of birth and not just for his wisdom but for the quiet and fatherly care he showed me.
“ My man” he called me in his usual soft tone and handed this book over to me gently with a wrist watch.
“Happy birthday” he started and I smiled swiftly after collecting my gift which was a surprise one.
“ This is called, The Light” he said with a smirk.
I knew the symbolism of a wristwatch but this book drew my attention. It was unlike anything I had seen before as its cover was sealed with a hardened candle. It was tinted in a soft light orange glow. It felt warm in my hands as if it carried a secret waiting to be understood.
That night, I read it and something changed in me. It wasn't just the words but the feeling. As I turned each page, I became aware of something within myself, something I had never truly noticed before. It was as if a quiet light had been switched on inside me which was subtle but undeniable.
I couldn't keep it to myself so the next day, I gave the book to my friend, Obente.
“ Read this” I said.
“ It will help you see” I concluded with bright laughter and he collected it and nodded but as days passed, I heard nothing and no words from him.
When I finally asked him, he hesitated before answering.
“ I gave it to my father” he said.
“ Why, from where to where?” I asked.
“I called him and told him and he said it was dangerous and not meant for children” Obente replied grumbling.
“ But the last time I checked, you are twenty-two” I uttered angrily and Obente frowned in return.
“ Then why can't you return it and why did your father held to it?” I inquired.
He shrugged and said, “Father said I shouldn't be friends with you anymore”
The words landed heavier than expected and I wanted to give him a fight that he would never forget but something rang in my mind like a bell, “ A man who saw such anger and withheld his fist is a real man and the one who immediately reacted in anger is not yet man enough”
I stood still for a moment then asked quietly, “ And you agree with him”.
Obente didn't answer directly, “ he is my father” he replied and walked away.
I was troubled and confused, so I returned to my boss and told him everything. Mr. Sir, listened patiently as a faint smile formed on his face. The smile was not of amusement but of understanding.
“ This is a lesson” he said firmly.
I looked up in surprise. Then he continued.
“ You can not heal someone who is not ready to heal and you cannot open the eyes of someone who insists on keeping them closed” he concluded.
I couldn't say anything but remain silent.
“ If your father's friend truly believed the book was dangerous, he would have destroyed it or returned it, but he kept it”
Mr. Sir noted as my eyes widened slightly.
“ He is not protecting his son either” Mr. Sir said softly and continued.
“ He is protecting his control. He wants the light but only for himself”
I paused a while to compare and contrast as Mr. Sir continued with his views.
“ He is not lying to you all, he is lying to himself” Mr. Sir concluded and I took a deep breath.
“ I hope you read it” Mr. Sir added.
“ I did” I replied after a gasp.
“ Good” He said nodding.
“ Then let him keep the book. It is his burden now, not yours again but remember this; be mindful of those who try to keep you in darkness by calling the light dangerous” He noted with a soft pat on my shoulder.
I left that day with clarity although it hurts and I created a quiet distance between myself and Obente. Not out of anger but out of understanding so if I come across those kinds of people who lie to themselves, I won't be shocked and also, I won't Shrek.
I will just soliloquize either audibly or inaudibly with “ continue playing”.
