"Ugh! The bread is soaking wet! Bread is not supposed to be soaking wet!" he snarled at me as he spit a soggy mouthful of half-chewed peanut butter sandwich into a tissue. I stood at attention next to his bed. He handed the sodden and heavy tissue to me.
He was now vegan, grain free, nightshade free, lectin free, phytic acid free, and deaf to my feeble protestations. He was not free, however, from his acutely tuned palate, which was maddeningly different from mine.
He had requested a peanut butter sandwich. I knew meeting all his new diet criteria would be a bitch, but I rose to the challenge. I had to.
I chose a very small ten dollar loaf of 'bread' and bought it. I bought some raw peanuts. I shelled the peanuts. I soaked, sprouted, and dehydrated the peanuts. After very lightly roasting them, I ground those peanuts into peanut butter. I then very carefully smeared the freshly ground peanut butter onto the somewhat normal looking bread. I made sure to get the peanut butter to the edges just like I had learned in home economics class long, long ago.
I knew how to make a proper tea sandwich.
I now spent my life trying to make this man happy. I signed up for that didn't I? Wasn’t that my reason for being? To make this man happy?
Well, he was not happy with that sandwich.
I was chatting with @mgaft earlier today about the dormancy of
@freewritehouse's beloved wewrite contest, and about the difficulties of running contests. I decided to see for myself just how hard it is.
Please enter! Just write a continuation. I don't care how you do it but please:
I'm just tagging a few of you to help get this started: @deirdyweirdy,
@mariannewest (hope your travels are a smashing success),
@carolkean,
@mgaft,
@zeldacroft,
@ntowl,
@tristancarax,
@free-reign,
@agmoore (because this reminds me of your story back in the fall). Please spread the word!
Please come join us at @freewritehouse
Where You Do You
image is by @wales, Dean Moriarty