How Prevent Your Spouse From Cheating
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You know most of the times I write comedy here is when something annoying happens to me, I don't really get the chemistry how things that annoys me at the same time they make me laugh. For example cooking the whole food before realizing the grinded pepper is still in the blender.lol
Today I've come to share important tips with you about how to help yourself so your spouse will not cheat on you. Someone is already asking how I came up with those tips, it will interest you to know that my girlfriend used most of them on me the last weekend.
I was supposed to go for a hangout with my friends and so I decided to take some haircut to look good as per fresh boy you know. My girlfriend accompanied me to the saloon to spoil my hair, yes because the barber didn't gave me what I wanted but yet that girl filled up my ears with "The haircut looks super great on me blah blah blah. I looked in the mirror and what i see is totally different from what she's describing me to be, I don't know if mirrors have started lying but I know it's one of my babes tactics to make sure I don't look attractive to other girls. Whenever I dress up and look handsome that's exactly when I'm ugly to her and whenever my dress doesn't look so attractive that's when I am very handsome to my babe, what an illusion.
The other time she didn't tell me I wore my shirt inside-out, that was how the two ladies I stopped on my way home laughed the hell out of me when I stopped them to talk to them. I guess her tactics is working pretty well for her. You need to see how I was giving those girls the correct vibes of a swaggerlicious lover boy, I felt a bit remorse because whatever I say becomes funny to them, the more I try to be more serious they still will laugh out loud, little did I know they were laughing at my poor dressing.
It was when I came back home to remove my clothes I noticed that I wore my shirt inside-out, and this girl told me I was looking handsome when I asked her about how I looked. So I stood in front of this girls pouring out serious vibes on vibes with my inside-out shirt? My babe has killed me..! Maybe I need to trust the mirror more than I trust her right now because she's winning me big time already.
I think it's high time I understand the kind of relationship I am into, no one cheats! Of course it can't be only me, I decided to compliment her actions on that too, I have decided not to take my girlfriend pictures again because what is the aim of taking pictures another dude will see and fall for my girl, like do you get what I'm saying..? I stopped taking her pictures, no one looses no one gains since taking her pictures is like picking a rope to go and hang myself so count me out, well, I didn't tell her about this because I know what short girls can do..lol
Yesterday I saw she wanted to upload a new profile photo and I showed her the one we snapped together, wisdom is profitable to direct. From today, too much make up will not look good on her, I've seen the future from now. My problem with ladies is that whatever you give them as a man, they will double it and give it back to you. If you give a responsible woman money, she will venture into business, double it and give it back to you, if you give her peace of mind, she will double it and give it back to you, if you give her semen she will give you babies, so also if you give a woman problem, she will also double it and give it back to you..lol
I'm just thinking what this girl will be cooking up for me this time around if she gets to know I am tactically guiding her from other guys as well. Maybe peace is the only option for me right now, bye guys, am off to go and make peace with that short girl馃槑
This is my entry for the COMtest challenge. Here is the link to the rules and regulations guiding the contest.