This time I'm going to go out on a limb and try sharing a crazy story from a long time ago. Please note that I'm not super proud of what I did and I don't really want you to try it unless you have a good lawyer. I did this when security cameras were much less prominent in buildings.
Here's how it happened
A long time ago, I was working in the center of a small city. The building was probably built in the 20s or 30s and reflected the style of that time. It was a granite and brick structure with a bold, strong appearance... Lots of ledges and arched windows...
Anyway, at the time, I worked for an extreme flunky and was frequently not pleased with the everyday goings on in the office. One of my annoyances was really slow elevators. The building only had four levels and I often took the stairs, but they were cold, dark and often reeked of cigarette smoke from sneaky weasels who lacked the nutz to step outside for a moment.
Furthermore, I had a strong impression that the others in the building had a tendency to stand in the open elevator door while chatting inanely with coworkers across the lobby. I'd often hit the elevator buttons, give up and take the stairs, leaving the passengers annoyed that the elevator made a false stop.
And then one day...
I'm not ever claiming that I'm the greatest guy, in intelligence, patience or any other virtues...
So, anyway, I was waiting, waiting, waiting for the elevator to reach my level when I temporarily had just a CRAZY notion. I dug my fingers between the elevator door and pulled the doors open just an inch or so. What can I say, I may have the arms of a spider monkey, but I have gorilla strength in my hands... Years of wood-working, workouts and messed up genetics were working in my favor that day.
Immediately, the elevator came to a halt. Of all passengers, the BUILDING MANAGER was inside. He was a cocky, arrogant, snobbish man, usually bearing a haughty smirk and a single raised eyebrow as he'd stop into my office and sour the environment with toxic, boorish, lame commentary on rancid pop culture, his golf game or just general self-loving banter.
It's safe to say, this situation wiped the smirk off his face real fast. He hollered for the maintenance guy for help. Picture a short, snotty little fellow bellowing out, "EVANS!!!".
I did what any responsible guy would鈥檝e done...
I high-tailed it out of there!
I don't know how he got out. I don't know when Evans showed up to rescue the diminutive princess. I do know that I was probably nervous, unsettled and snickering uncontrollably for the next week or so.
I never did get caught for this incident, and it never happened again.
Had that gone down in this day and age, I'm pretty sure there would be security footage and I'd be a viral bad guy, possibly become a meme when interviewed on television... Maybe even become a bit of a folk hero for people that despise slow elevators and snobbish loudmouths :)
So, that's my story!
Have you ever done something crazy like this? I'm sure you have, but you just don't want to admit it. Maybe pulling elevator doors open mid-travel is more of a guy thing though.
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