Now I just sit alone on a house with a sky roof and its beautiful decoration, which is a star, but tonight the moon is not so bright because it's blocked by the evening sky. Seeing all that, I was reminded of my beautiful story, but something was blocking me. I am very sorry for overly loving someone, now I can not forget it even though he already has.
Just mention his name, Odi, he is my past which until now I can not leave. I have known him since childhood, since then and since the first meeting that he had harbored feelings for me. He never revealed it so that even a few years I did not realize there was someone who harbored affection for me. At that time, Odi and I were still small and didn't understand anything. We just play together and learn together, but that we all live happily.
A few years later with his innocence and childishness, Odi gave me a doll, since then I realized that he was serious about his feelings for me, it was the first doll I got from a boy friend that I will never forget and to this day still neatly stored in the cupboard. That's exactly a few days before we will part. I am very sad and also sorry, why not from the first I did not realize he loved me, why also should I be aware at the end of our time together. I was a child who did not understand what it means to love. I just run my story with what it is, just follow the flow of life.
Lapse of about a year Odi never appeared in my life, every time I always hoped for his arrival at that time I began to not believe in his past feelings for me. I tried to forget it but that I could not do. But it turns out God has a plan, we are still meeting. precisely in the month of Ramadan which is a month full of blessings, that month also gave me a blessing which without me realizing odi returned to me. He felt very guilty at the time for leaving me without certainty. After the incident, it wasn't like I hated him more, but I loved him more. But that feeling has made me devastated until now. I love him too much, I always forgive his mistakes even though it makes me hurt.
One time when Odi was far from me when we were busy and rarely met, it turns out he betrayed me. At first I could not believe what he was doing but one day he said that he didn't love me anymore. That is an expression that I will never forget about him. I really hated him that day, all of my loyalty was just for him he just replied with a pain. At that time I felt I was a very stupid person, who could be betrayed arbitrarily. His painful words made me really, really hate him, I felt we would never be together again and never be together again. That's because Odi already has my bride. At that time we also became hostile, I immediately became amnesia about him. I really hate it, I have considered everything that happened when we were little through to the present never existed. At that time I felt I could not forgive him, to speak we have never.
Once when I was still unable to completely let go, there was a man who approached me. That approach can momentarily make me forget the figure of an Odi. But when I had no hope with him anymore and I was able to forget it with great surprise he came back to me. That happened after one year we parted, even though I had never before thought that he would come back, even though we had passed the time when we didn't recognize each other. I don't know what he was thinking could bring him back to me. Having him in my life again made me have to choose to be with him or with a man who came when he was not by my side. But who knows what is on my mind, I prefer Odi over someone who clearly never betrayed me.
Now is the day for my birthday, this is a vacation. During holidays I can often see him, this atmosphere makes me more able to take it back and love him. At that time I really hope that on my birthday he gives me a surprise. But tomorrow we have entered school, maybe this will happen. But that, I only thought. At night a friend of mine invited me to gather, where every time we gather there must be him. I am very happy, hopefully tomorrow we will meet and he will give me a surprise. That night I could not sleep, I always wondered what would happen tomorrow.
By tomorrow I was neat, I was ready to meet him and I was also ready to accept the situation if indeed I would not be surprised by him. When I came to my friend's house he wasn't there, my feelings were very disappointed. All my hopes were just wishful thinking, we all joked together but in my heart still covered with feelings of anxiety whether he will come. After a few hours we gather it turns out he came, I'm very happy but he will give me a surprise. Maybe that won't happen because he came without carrying anything.
A few hours after we got together my friends whispered to plan something, in my mind whether my friends and he will give me a surprise. And it was true, for the first time I could celebrate a birthday with him and also with my friend. I was deeply moved when a rainbow cake was in front of me, it felt like I wanted to cry but this cry was a cry of happiness. But happiness did not last long, after everyone gave me a surprise Odi approached me and told me that I had to be brave. He said that he loved me but he already had one. I was very sad why I had to, when I was able to take it back it turned out that with his honesty and courage he betrayed me again. But this time it was different, he betrayed this betrayal with feelings of affection for me. when Odi said that I wanted to cry, but I always tried not to let a single tear run down my cheek. I always tried to be strong in front of him, he said that if God predestined us together then nothing could separate us and vice versa. Those words can make me strong to this day even though I have been hurt many times.
I am sure with his words, until now I am still waiting for him and I do not know how long I will wait for him. I really believe that if we were meant to be together then that would happen, right now I'm still learning so I don't really think about it. I just always try not to betray him, I want to prove to him that I sincerely love him. I will also try to be tough waiting for him. I hope one day he realizes that I'm here always waiting for him. But if my thoughts did not happen then I sincerely accepted reality. If we are not together then that is indeed the best path from God for us. I'm sure whoever he will find his soul mate, so will I, amen.