Yesterday my mom and I went to my uncle’s home to visit my grandmother. In my family, this kind of visit is not a small thing. It is a duty, but also a gift. I believe that if there is an elder in the family, we should visit them often, listen to them, and make them feel safe and loved. In my culture, especially in Kurdish culture, respecting elders is very important. We grow up with this idea. We learn that an elder’s home is a place of blessing. Their prayers matter. Their words matter. Even their silence can teach you something.
My grandmother usually lives in our hometown. But for the last year, she has been in Istanbul with us. She does not stay in one house all the time. Sometimes she stays with my uncles, sometimes with my aunts, and sometimes she comes to our home too. We try to share the responsibility and also share the joy. When she is in one home, we visit her there. It feels like the family has one center, and that center moves from house to house. Wherever she is, that place becomes warmer.
We went during the day, around 11 in the morning. Before we arrived, I took some photos in the area. The weather was cloudy and a little rainy. The sky looked heavy, like it was thinking. I took a photo from inside, through a window full of raindrops. The city looked far away, and the drops on the glass made everything softer. It was a calm moment. Rain can make you slow down. It can make you more quiet inside. I also took photos of the buildings and the garden area in the housing complex. There was a small water area with fountains, and a path that curves between the buildings. Even in winter, it looked clean and cared for. I like noticing these small details because they show everyday life. Not a perfect life, but a real one.
When we arrived, the home already felt full. My aunt by marriage was there, the children were there, and later more relatives came. In Turkish homes, when you visit family, you never feel like a guest for long. After two minutes, you are part of the house again. Shoes are left at the door, coats are placed somewhere, and you are invited to sit. Then the first important thing happens: tea.
In one of my photos, you can see two small tea glasses on the table. One hand is holding a glass, and another person is holding their tea too. That photo is simple, but it tells a lot. Tea is not only a drink. Tea is time. Tea is conversation. Tea is a way to say, “Stay a little longer.” And in our family, staying longer is normal. Nobody asks, “When will you leave?” Instead, they ask, “Do you want more tea?”
I also brought dessert for them. I wanted to bring something sweet, because we were visiting my grandmother, and I wanted her to feel celebrated. Sometimes we think big respect needs big actions, but often it is the small actions that carry real love. A dessert, a warm hello, sitting near her, asking how she feels, kissing her hand, listening to her stories. These are the moments that matter.
My grandmother is an elder, and I want her to feel that she is not alone. Elders can feel lonely even in a crowded home. People talk fast, life moves fast, and they can feel left behind. So I try to sit close, speak slowly, and include her in the conversation. I also believe in receiving her prayers. In our culture we say “hayır dua,” a good prayer from an elder. It is not only a religious thing. It is also emotional. It means we want their heart to be happy with us. We want their approval and their kindness. When an elder prays for you, it feels like a protection. It feels like something good follows you.
Tea, Food, and the Comfort of Being Together
The day moved like a long, warm river. We did not rush. We talked, we laughed, we watched the children play, and we ate together. My aunt cooked a meal, and we ate as a family. Food in a family home has a different taste. It is not only about ingredients. It is also about care. When someone cooks for you, they are giving you time and energy. They are saying, “You matter enough for me to do this.” I always feel grateful for that.
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After the meal, there was more tea. Of course. And there were snacks too. In one photo, you can see nuts and small cookies on the table. Almonds, pistachios, and other little bites. This is also a classic family table. It is never empty. Even if you are not hungry, you still take something small, because sharing is part of the feeling. You sit, you take a nut, you listen, you answer, you smile. The table becomes a place where the family connects.
Sometimes family visits can be tiring. I will be honest. When many relatives are together, there is noise, there are different personalities, and there can be small tensions. Children cry, adults talk at the same time, and everyone has an opinion. In big families, you can feel overwhelmed. You might want a quiet corner. You might want five minutes alone. That is normal.
But yesterday, it was mostly peaceful and joyful. Maybe because we all missed each other. Maybe because we were focused on my grandmother. When an elder is present, the family often becomes softer. People behave better. They remember their manners. They remember the old stories. They remember where they come from.
I think modern life teaches us to be very individual. We focus on our personal plans, our private time, our own comfort. That is not wrong, but it can become too much. Family visits bring you back to something older and deeper. They remind you that you are part of a chain. Your grandmother is part of your past. You are part of the present. The children are part of the future. When you sit in the same room, you can feel time in a real way.
Also, visiting elders teaches patience. Elders move slower. They speak slower. They repeat things. They can be sensitive. If you learn to be gentle with them, you become more gentle in life. It is like a training for the heart.
In one photo, I shared an outdoor view with closed umbrellas and empty café tables. The ground was wet and the sky was gray. It looked quiet and cold. When I look at that photo now, I feel a contrast. Outside was cold and rainy. Inside, the house was warm and full. That is what family can do. It can be a shelter.
My Grandmother’s Presence and Why It Matters
My grandmother does not need fancy things. She needs attention, respect, and love. She needs to feel that she still has a place in the family. In Kurdish culture, elders hold a special position. They are not only older people. They are the memory of the family. They carry stories of hard times, migrations, weddings, losses, and celebrations. When they speak, you can learn where your family’s values come from.
Yesterday, I watched her face as people talked. Sometimes she smiled, sometimes she looked quiet. I realized again that time is precious. We do not know how long we will have our elders with us. So we should not delay visits. We should not say, “Next week.” Life is unpredictable. The best time to visit is when you can, as soon as you can.
We stayed there for almost twelve hours. We went at 11 in the morning and left close to 11 at night. It sounds long, but it did not feel heavy. It felt full. It felt meaningful. When I came home, I was tired, yes, but I was also satisfied in a deep way. Like my heart was fed.
Family days like this remind me that joy is not always in big events. Sometimes joy is sitting on a sofa, holding tea, listening to relatives talk, eating simple food, and watching children run around. It is ordinary, but it is also priceless.
I want to keep this habit in my life. I want to visit elders, not only when there is a holiday, not only when someone is sick, not only when it is required. I want it to be a normal part of life. Because respect should not be an emergency thing. It should be a daily value.
When I think about yesterday, the strongest feeling I have is gratitude. I am grateful my grandmother is here in Istanbul with us this year. I am grateful we can share her between homes and keep her surrounded by family. I am grateful for my mother, for my uncles and aunts, for my relatives, for the food, for the tea, and even for the rain. The rain made the city look soft, and it made the home feel even warmer.
Some days you collect achievements. Other days you collect memories. Yesterday was a memory day. And these are the days that stay with you.
