I quit my job.
I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, this is certainly not the best time of the year to make such rash decisions”. Do I feel bad? No. Am I confused? Yes. Confused for many different reasons, one of which is; I'm not the type to quit. This is solely because, to me, it carries an implication that I did not try hard enough, or I wasn’t good enough, or maybe it implies that I gave up.
Usually, I wake up at 5 am, six days a week, say a word of prayer, literally fly to the bathroom, then leave for work in a matter of minutes only to get home too late, and too tired to have a decent meal. So, basically, I am a food junkie...no, I was a junkie. Henceforth, I pledge to eat healthily.
Last week, I was going to put up a post about how sad I was. I just couldn’t understand what was happening to me. I wasn't depressed, at least not yet. I was drained, tired all the time, completely uninterested in everyone and everything. So much so that it affected my consistency on Hive, writing didn't seem to help much.
Also, it is utterly impossible for me not to have my own musical concert every time I take a bath, this stopped too. I was slowly losing myself. I knew at once that my job was one of the leading causes of my problem.
I worked in the Hospitality industry for a year, and I can tell you from experience that it is extremely demanding(depending on your role of course). Interesting industry for those who have a knack for it, certainly not me.
Don’t even get me started on why I took the job in the first place because it is a completely different story on its own. I mean, I have been an ardent advocate for the "walk away from whatever makes you unhappy", 'Work smart not hard" talk. But, I never took my own advice before now.
My job was draining and with every passing day, I felt like I was losing my mind. I think the deal-breaker for me was the constant demeaning words I had to endure from my superior.
Having to work long hours with no definite closing time, giving literally all that I had, but made to feel thrashy, not being entitled to a break or leave of work all year round got to me.
Right now, I have no social life. I mean, who needs a social life when there are bills to pay right? Some good friends are mad at me because they assume that I'm acting all bossy and too busy for them...some call it pride.
The other day my mum said to me " Omosefe, I never would have believed it if someone had told me that you'd someday love your job more than your mother". This was after several attempts to get me to at least visit my folks for once.
I remember that the few times I sent an application for a pay raise, I was met with sermons detailing how I needed to do more, prove that I deserved it, make more sacrifices notwithstanding that the initial agreement was to get a raise 3 months in.
Not to blow my own horns, but I know for sure that I am a hard worker, smart, driven, and dedicated to whatever task I’m handed, but I guess I am not for everyone, in this case…every job.-You know how they say there’s only so much you can take.
A good number of months into the job, I wrote a resignation letter but I was too afraid to submit it, so I just let it sit in my drafts. I doubted myself over and over again. What if I don't get another job? What if I go broke? What if I regret my decision?.
All I know is it took me over a year to actually realize that ‘Fear is indeed an illusion'. Now, I see fear for what it truly is; bullcrap.
Today, I shed a tear. No, scrap that…I laid on the cold floor and cried till had no strength left in me. The reality of my decision hit home and I was yet again crippled by the fear of an unpredictable future. Who knows if this is the best decision of my life or the worse? I guess I’ll find out.
My colleagues have called severally; some to express disappointment at not pre-informing them, others to see how I was really faring. However, I can’t say enough how thankful I am to have met the one this special person I’ll cherish for the rest of my life, my friend Oriyomi.
Notwithstanding, I am happy, hopeful, content, and without regret. For the first time in a long while, I do not feel like I am losing my mind.
I’m taking the next two weeks to rest. No job search, no business-related activities(I have two online stores on the side). Just me, my bed, and Hive of course.
I am proud of you Omosefe!
Lastly, 
