I really like you." he said made me blush. "How do you feel?" he asked again staring intently at my eyes. I just paused as if unable to say anything. I like it too, but my lips are silent in front of him.
"Ratna ..." he called out to me.
"Huh?" my surprise turned my body towards him.
"Why are you silent, how do you feel about me?" his eyes were so hopeful, my heart beat faster.
"Eemmtt ... I ... actually, also like you." I said softly. "But ... I want it, we finish our lecture first. Then you meet my parents, proposed to me. "
"Yes, I'll do it for you!" he said, smiling broadly.
My heart feels flowery, as if this place turned into a flower garden that only I was with him was in this flower garden.
Dika always gives me surprises, often she gives me small attention in front of her friends. Without any more awkwardness, he treated me very romantic. And heedless jokes from his friends who always tease me.
A few days already, I'm always busy with all my college work. There was no time for me to just go out with him. Often I receive the inbox via cellphone wanting to go both ways. But I ignored it, because my mind was still focused on my myriad of college assignments. Every time we meet on campus, we also rarely talk together. I just hope he can understand my current situation.
After all my college assignments, the white towel was still wrapped around my wet hair. It was a relief that everything was finished. Dika's face crossed my mind, with a sweet smile. My hand reached for the cellphone which was still lying on the bed. And sent him a message, wanting to take him for a walk. But my smile seemed to collapse in a storm, when he said he could not go with me because of his many tasks.
Dika is still busy in front of her laptop screen in a multimedia laboratory. I decided to wait for him, until he finished his college assignments. An hour has passed, but he still hasn't come out yet. I looked from the window of the laboratory room, his eyes still busy looking at his laptop screen. I sat back staring at my watch, which kept going. It's been a long time waiting for him from behind the wall, but somehow I feel like I want to keep waiting until he is over.
Two hours had passed, I heard footsteps approaching me. I looked at the sound of the footsteps walking. Apparently I found the figure of Dika, already standing right in front of me.
"Why are you still waiting for me? I was already inbox earlier, tell you to go home first. "
"If I go home first, then when can we go together!" I heard his words, not coming with a smile instead gave me an angry expression. "When you want to take the road, I'm busy. Now it's my turn to do it, the room is getting busy. Then when will we go together? " I grumbled.
"Yes, but you don't have to wait for me all this time too. You can go home first. " he said, glaring at me.
"Are you here to ask for a walk together, or do you want to get angry?" I exclaimed because of his increasingly annoying attitude. "If you come here just to get angry, I'll just go home! It's also useless waiting for you! " I said stepping my foot away.
"Hey ... wait please!" he shouted after me, I stopped my footsteps. "What's wrong with you? Why is it even sulking? " he took my hand and held it.
"You really hate me, I'm waiting for you. So we can go together. But you are angry with me instead. "
"Yes, I'm sorry." he said while smiling at me. "Sit there, okay?" he pointed at the chair in the campus park.
My heart seemed to be hit by the cliff ruins, when I heard he said he would leave for a while to go home to the city outside. That means I won't meet him, even if it's only for a few days. But still I will really miss him, even though we can only sit together after we are busy with each other's activities. But I can't help but have to let him go home for a while.
I haven't seen him in a few days, no more smiles that I see. There was no longer any traffic that always walked beside me every time I passed the campus corridor. I really miss him, back with me.
I'm still engrossed in chewing food in front of me with my classmate Tio in the campus canteen. How shocked I saw the figure of a man walking in front of me. I was choking to swallow my food, Tio immediately offered me a drink to treat my throat. Immediately I grabbed it and took a sip of glass of water offered by Tio.
"Do I go first?" I said goodbye, leaving Tio who was still sitting on his food.
I immediately ran to the man who passed in front of me while in the canteen. It turned out to be true to me that it was Dika, but why didn't he inform me when he came back here again. My mind was filled with all suspicion towards him. Immediately I rushed over to him and sat beside him.
"Congratulations, congratulations ... happy new life." said a few of his friends thrusting his hand towards Dika shaking hands.
My mind was filled with a myriad of questions and curiosity. I'm not married to him, just planning a wedding intention after graduating from college. But why all his friends congratulate him.
"Dika, why is this? We are not married yet, but why do they congratulate you? " Dika only silently bowed his head.
"Hello, you don't know? He is married. " said one of his friends who sat beside him.
"Marriage!!!" I was surprised to glare at my eyes. "With whom?"
"Yes, with his wife." said her friend again.
"What!!!" I shouted breaking the atmosphere, making all the eyes look at me. Dika still silent not say a word to give me an explanation.
"Dika, who is he?" asked his friend to Dika, but was not answered by him.
It felt like my heart was getting sick, hit by the rubble that shook my heart. I immediately moved from my seat stepped away from that place. I continued to run without looking back. My tears continued to trickle even harder. My footsteps stopped under a shady tree in the park. I never thought that Dika would have the heart to do this to me. He destroyed all my dreams of living with him, to marry another girl. My tears continued to drip as if I could not believe that now my hopes and dreams of being able to live with the person I liked were gone.
This morning I met him on campus, but I could not see his face. I walked past him, pretending I didn't see him. My heart is still very sick with what has happened. Every time I see it, it feels like the wound is wide open.
"Ratna! Wait!!!" shouted Dika calling me, I continued walking pretending not to hear his call. "Hey, what's wrong with you?" Dika took my hand standing right in front of me. My eyes run into his eyes. Instantly I lowered my head, unable to see his face.
"Listen to my explanation first." he said staring intently at my eyes.
"What else do you want to say, everything is clear right!" I said. "You destroyed my wish to live with you, with you marrying someone else." I said softly, my eyes began to glaze over.
"I did this because I had to, I really don't know anything. I went home, all the preparations for the wedding were prepared. " he said.
"But you can avoid it!"
"How can I avoid it? my parents' names are at stake. I don't want to embarrass my parents in front of a crowd. " he said again. Tearing my heart deeper, is this what she wants to give me.
"Then how do I feel? Don't you think about my feelings! " I cried in tears. It hurts my heart to hear the explanation. He never once thought about my feelings. He only thinks about his feelings and his parents, without trying to think about the feelings I was hurt by him.
"It's not like that, but ..." he lowered his head and fell silent.
"Never mind!!! Mind your own business with your wife, don't bother me anymore or appear before me! Wish you happiness." I shouted while shedding tears. Ran left him.
"How can I be happy!" he shouted, clearly in my ears as he ran to leave him.
I never thought that he would do this to me. He came to love me, but he went to marry another girl. Then what does it mean to me for his life, he did not try to maintain me as his lover who also had a dream to get married This pain feels once in my heart, love shouldn't hurt. It's gone all my dreams to live with him. Now I just live alone friends with love that hurt me. Leaving a very painful scar in my heart.