I still remember when he held my hand, hugging me tightly as if he would not be separated from me. At that time we officially became lovers. His attitude is gentle but firm, and so charismatic according to my friends, we are indeed very suitable.
The incident three months ago is probably the most memorable event in my heart. When he shot me on the edge of a clear lake. I will never forget all that. We often cycled together around rural roads that have not been polluted by pollution and every night we often spend together. "You promise to be loyal to me, Vin?" "I promise, right!" he said at that time steadily.
But what's with now. I decided on him, Kevin. He might not know my feelings at that time. He cuddled me because he was a gamers. Hard to believe, he left me because of the gloomy game. He loves the game more than me.
Slowly he began to move away from me. Now it's like the two of us don't know each other. The game has closed his eyes and heart. Maybe he has no taste for me.
The days I live alone, without it. I will prove if I can without the presence of a figure of Kevin. The first day of going to school after the holidays was distributed to the class list. I'm in the same class as Kevin. What I was destined not to forget. Every day I can clearly see his face, still like a year ago, it hasn't changed much. I admit, we are still in our teens. And what arises in our hearts may be commonly called love monkeys. But I deny that statement, maybe this feeling is too deep and can not only be called monkey love.
I have long tried to forget our memories, and it almost worked. But why do you bring him back near me, O Lord? Maybe it's because Kevin was my first love so it was really hard to forget it.
Every day in class he just looked at me cynically, but I often caught him often stole a look at me. Not only me, but my friends are also aware of his behavior. Could he still love me? I no longer hope for him. But in the deepest recesses of my heart, I still felt the flaming love that was hard to extinguish. I don't know, I'm still confused about my feelings.
One day he didn't go to school, I worried about him. Yes I miss the laughter that is typical and a sweet smile that sticks to his lips first. She is sick. I hope it just hurts. The next day he entered school as usual. I'm glad to see him laughing with his friends. Maybe every day I make fake smiles, and they think I'm a smiley person.
I also feel tired with this smile of my lies. I can't stand it. It's really uncomfortable if every day is dissolved by this lie. Because it was very sad, to the point that I could not pour out my heart to anyone. Not with my parents, not with my best friend, Lintang. I was so stupid to hold all this. I still have a taste for my first love, Kevin.
Lately Kevin often does not go to school. What is wrong with her? Maybe he often ditches, I thought. Ditching for the sake of the game I thought. He played games without knowing the time, morning afternoon afternoon evening never absent from his favorite game.
That night my feelings are not good, I think of something that is not not. I'm afraid something will happen to Kevin. I find it very difficult to sleep. I closed my eyes and finally fell asleep. I find this sleep unusual. I wanted to wake up but it was difficult, so did I try to scream. Like someone is preventing me. I was forced to lift my head with all my might, finally I could wake up. It's very difficult. My neck is sweaty. Likewise my forehead. I saw the wall clock showing 11:30. Before, I dreamed of a shroud, my feelings were getting worse. First I wake up, my mind immediately fixed on Kevin. Hopefully he is fine, please protect him, O Allah.
This morning at 4, Kevin texted me good morning. Not as usual. In fact he returned to include the term 'honey' behind him. I also replied with a smile smile alone. This morning I left for school without anxious thoughts. My mind that had been lost because Kevin was fine, I thought. Arriving at school, many friends gathered. I went to the crowd. "What's the matter?" I asked very curious. "So you don't know anything? You should be on the list of people who are the first to know this news! " Latitude snapped. "Yeah! Kevin died last night at 11:30. " "Aapaaa?" I answered as if I didn't believe it and I immediately lost consciousness, maybe the incident last night was a hunch, it turns out the shroud was for Kevin.
After I regained consciousness, I cried uncontrollably, friends soothed me. I told my dream to Lintang. He was amazed by my hunch that is very strong, he instead said that maybe Kevin still loved me very much. Kevin died at 11:30, so who texted good morning, at 4?
Me and Lintang came to Kevin's house, so many people mourned. Mother, father, sister and brother cried after Kevin's funeral. Kevin's brother apparently sent a text at 4, it was a mandate from Kevin. I cried again, Lintang wiped my tears. "This is Kania, right?" Said the woman who was none other than Kevin's mother. "Kevin often tells stories about you, he says you are smart, kind, friendly, funny. Kevin likes you. " Deg ... my heart beats faster than usual. "Yes, I'm Kania ma'am." "Here's a letter from Kevin for you, please just read it at home later."
After I received the letter, I immediately said goodbye to Kevin's family and rushed home to read the letter immediately.
When I got home, I read the letter slowly ..
For Kania
Maybe when you opened the envelope, I left you.
Sorry I didn't say goodbye to you first.
I have been picked up by angels to go to heaven, and was invited to ride a vehicle to heaven.
You don't cry. I know now you are crying. It's bad if you cry, smile, so that it gets more beautiful.
Calm down Kan, I'm calm down here.
If you want to remember me, you just go to the lake, just stare at the water.
I've never been lost. I will also be like the sky
Who can watch from up here.
Kevin
My tears flowed as I read it. I don't know what Kevin has been suffering from all this time, and I'm not going to find out. Because it only adds to my pain. Kevin, I will never forget you ... baby.
THE END