Step by step guide to Anal sex.

Step by step guide to Anal sex. | Ecency

The emotional overture I feel before boarding a roller coaster is about the same as I feel right before embarking on anal sex, excitement, followed by mild hesitation and nervousness. But! The thing about every single roller roaster ride I've been on (so far) is that I've loved them all. No matter how many butterflies are tap-dancing on the bottom of my stomach as the ride lurches up a steep hill, the thrill I feel at the end of the ride is always worth it.

This isn't to say that everyone who likes roller coasters will also like anal sex. The takeaway from this metaphor is that it's very much fine to be nervous about it beforehand—even if you're totally sure (and you should be) that this is something you want to be doing.

Anal sex requires a bit of extra preparation, but other than that, it's just another sex act. Whether you're still debating to get in line for this particular roller coaster, or are already lurching up the steep hill, here's everything you need to know about anal sex.

1. Don't try it if you don't want to.There's a big difference between "I don't necessarily fantasize about getting a penis enema but I want to blow my partner's mind" and "I would rather die than do this but I guess I can suffer through it because he's been pressuring me." If you're in a mutually caring, healthy relationship (with a guy who goes down on you for half an hour, minimum), maybe you'll want to do it for your partner or you won't. Either way is 100 percent fine, and if he keeps pressuring you when you have made it clear that it is not on the table, tell him to suck it.

2. Try out anal play first. Before embarking on the full monte of penetrative, anal sex, you can—and should!—lighter anal play a try. This is open to interpretation, and could mean anything from toys to fingertip and mouth, It'll give you a lower-pressure idea of what the ~sensations~ of anal stimulation feel like, and is a way of working up to the big show. Or not! If you decide some light anal play is all you're interested in, camp out there forever. No rules here, except to use lube, have consent, and USE LUBE.

3. If it hurts, stop! Some, well, let's call them new sensations are to be expected—a lot of women say it feels like they need to poop, or like a primal, pressure feeling. But like any other sex act, if things start to hurt in a way that's no longer fun, you should stop. Injuries from anal sex are possible, but are super rare. Pain most commonly comes from anal fissures, or little tears in the tissue around the anus, which is very thin and delicate. A good way to remedy that is using lots of lube and smarting with smaller objects, rather than big ones.

4. You might bleed a little. As always, if you're bleeding profusely or persistently (like, for longer than an hour), you should call a doctor. But a little blood during anal play or sex is nothing to worry about.

Before you freak out at the thought of "anal tears," know that most of these are so tiny you won't even feel them, and a lot of them don't produce any blood at all. But, like snowflakes, no two anal tears are the same, so yours may bleed a bit. These little guys should heal within a few days but may cause a bit of mild discomfort when you're pooping.

5. You're gonna wanna be vocal during this process. Even if you're normally very quiet during sex, this is a time you'll wanna speak up—especially your first time trying it out with a new partner. Tell them if they're going too fast or to slow, if you feel like you're literally about to poop everywhere, or if you're experiencing pain/discomfort. Also, tell them if it feels good! If you're feeling nervous, chances are your partner is, too. Always give feedbacks!

6. Throw other stimulation into the mix. Listen, they don't make those wild-looking, three-pronged sex toys for nothing. Once you're in the groove of things, add in some clit stimulation, some vaginal stimulation, or heck, all three.

7. The right lube is twice as important as it is when having vaginal sex, which is already super-important. You might have heard that too much lube takes away the friction that makes it feel good for the dude. That's bullshit. There is no such thing as too much lube, because it makes it feel slightly less like you are using your butthole as a handbag

8. Getting the tip in hurts the most, because the head of the penis is the widest part. Once you're past that and up to the shaft, it'll feel a little better. Remember how much regular sex hurt at first, for some of us? (Unless I guess the guy's shaft is the same width as his head.

9. You're going to freak the fuck out that you're pooping but you're not.Honestly, it becomes hard to tell if you are or aren't; additionally, You're probably not gonna poop. If there's a little bit of poop, as my partner said, it's not a big deal.

10. You can lie flat on your stomach, get in doggy-style, or do missionary—and that is the order of what will hurt the least to the most. At least, in my (minimal) experience. You can tear your anus if you use a certain position that allows for more penetration before you're ready, and Insertive partners who are inexperienced, nervous about how to penetrate their partners anally, or fearful of hurting their partners may find this position most relaxing because the receiver can do much of the decision-making and work."

Don't worry about disappointing him by wanting to go slow and gently. You're not being a buzzkill who's squashing his porn-influenced fantasies of pounding the shit out of a girl's butt. You are being an awesome and selfless (if butt sex is not on your list of must-have sex) partner.

11. Like peeing immediately after sex to avoid a UTI, it's good to go to the bathroom right after you're done.You'll also probably feel like you have to anyway. You have also opened yourself up to the joy of butt queefs. They're not farts, no matter what anyone says. Unlike frontal queefs, they might go on for a few hours as the air escapes. On the bright side, you are a human beatbox, and your partner can lay a sick freestyle over the top if s/he feels so inclined.

12. If you despise it, never do it again. It shouldn't take you a few hellish rounds to finally decide it's not for you. If you hate it, you hate it, and that is fine. I didn't hate it, and it was psychologically gratifying to watch my partner's mind being blown. I'd do it again as a "special occasion" thing, like on our anniversary, or Flag Day.

Let me know if you learnt something.

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