Wahala For Femi || Living With A Stereotypical Name

If you are Nigerian, that's great. If you are one, however, and you bear a stereotypical name, then that may not be so great. There are many, but the most popular, based on Twitter polls, lol, is Femi. But it's not for desirable reasones. And guess what?? That's my first name!

Meanwhile, Wahala just means "Problem." It's a Nigerian Slang thingy...

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Okay, okay, I am not sure what kind of name is meant to be the first name, if it's meant to be your name in your dialect or just any you'd prefer to be called. Google gets me confused everytime I try - but that's not why we are here. We are here for how the stereotypical name affects me and just why it is stereotypical name. But first, let's run a little history from my perspective.

Many people now know me as Joseph. However, this was not the case many years ago, when I was still a child. _{Wait, am I not still someone's child? 🤔💭} I used to be called a different name, Femi, and Joseph was not really known by people. I swapped them for reasons that were maybe childish, but were justifiable, based on my feelings anyway.

You see, Femi is just a short form of the Yoruba name Oluwafemi, meaning God loves me. Further disecting it, Oluwa means "God", and then Femi would be "love me." Now when you say Femi alone, it means a completely different thing. And as a kid then, I didn't fancy the attraction it brought.

I have always been "the cute boy" every where and every time, and it has always been pretty much out of the norms for me to go unnoticed. _{This isn't me being vain, please.} So when I was in secondary school (junior high school), I always got the attention, and even more and more because of my name, Femi. _{Or was it all in my head? I don't think so...}

How?...you may wonder.

Femi has always been one of the most popular Yoruba names, so much so that any one from any tribe can immediately tell that one is Yoruba. But it somes with its caveats.

As a kid, whenever I told anyone that my name is Femi, the first thing they say is Àwọn tó ń jẹ́ Femi máa ń like obìnrin (Those that bear Femi usually like women). And my response was usually "Ah ahnn, me I don't like girls o" (what?? I don't like girls), and then they'd say to me "gbenu so un" (shut your mouth). Little did I know that was just the beginning...

You want some?

The reality, however, was that girls in my school then actually liked me; some, anyway...I remember physically fighting a girl then, but that's a story for another day.

And then, back at school, some girls would always tease me with my name. "Fe mi" could also mean "marry me." So they'd be like, "Femi, femi nau." This directly translates to "Femi, please marry me." And this would make me cringe so much, so much so that I often avoided some of these girls as that always made me feel embarrassed as people often laughed at it all. So I vowed that if I ever made it out alive from that school that I'd use "Joseph" as my first name instead.

Again, I was just a kid, so put that judgemental face somewhere else. _{Please 🥺}

Moving forward...

When the opportunity came for me to change school came, I made sure to follow on my vow; to tell people that my name is Joseph, rather than Oluwafemi. But I guess it was pointless anyway as I landed in a boys school. Nobody cared about me and my fancy name. How fascinating!

But in the long run, it kind of paid off. You know why? Because there was a much greater stereotype around the name Femi ahead of me. Well, it was still centered around women. But now, I have more peace than I would have had if I had still gone about telling people that my name is Oluwafemi.

Oh, and by the way, that's how my username came about. Olujay (Oluwafemi Joseph). It was coined by my very own amazing mother. Why? Well, she didn't want people stealing my clothes in the new school so she printed Olujay on all my things...literally everything! And so, everyone in school just called me that as it was boldly written on my shirts, trousers, and bedspreads. Aren't mothers amazing??

See what I mean?

But I digress...

If you have seen those memes about Femi being the most dangerous type of guys in Nigeria then you know exactly what I am about to talk about. _{huhh?...aboutta whattabout?}

Hmmm...but how do I continue without coming off condescending? Let's give it a try.

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Shall I proceed?

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I don't know the type of Femi some ladies have met, but I am assuming they have had their hearts ripped apart by these species. And you know what's crazier? It seems to be that the majority of women that have being in relationships with this particular genre of a man have the same notion about them.

So whenever I do tell anyone my name is actually Femi, they give this look that practically says "Fear Femi!!"...if they don't say it with their lips. And when I tell them that I am a good boy, they'd respond with "Haaa...that's how it used to start oh"

On the contrary, I am a very good boy. If you give your heart to me, I'll carry it like an egg; with tenderness and care. Like this flower...

Roses are red, violets are blue. Petals are tender, and so are you.

For this stereotype around the name Femi, I mention my name with utmost care where ever I go.

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_{Are there other stereotypes you have heard about the name Femi? Or are there actual experiences that you have with people bearing Femi? Or just go on to share the stereotypical names you know and their stereotypes. Let us know and let's catch cruise today. TGIF!}