For the first time, my mother let my brother and I go to the salon ourselves to have our hair cut. She'd normally take us there herself, but she considered us big enough to walk the streets on our own, as long as it was during the daytime. Being the elder brother, I held the 500 naira note. Big money that time.
All we were going to spend to cut our hair was 50 naira per head, I think. The hair style was skodos, as we normally refer to it, where you'd shave the entire skull of its glory to reveal the beauty of the yellow sun. So, yes, I was carrying money for a pot of soup made with beef in my pocket. Good old times.
Now, I don't remember if the money was in my hand or my pocket, but what I remember is that I surely didn't find it in either place on our arrival at our trustee barber. Or wait. I think we even realised that the precious 500 naira note had somehow vanished into thin air before our arrival. Our ETA automatically escalated from 10 minutes to 7 hours, because we knew we were finished.
"Ermmm...it's like the money is with you, right?" I said, searching my pockets. My brother, who widened his tiny eyes, promptly defended, "No ooo. Is it not you that was doing big brother and collected the money from mommy when she was clearing your plate of food that you did not finish and eventually did not give me?"
Two wise men...
Realising all my philosophical teachings entered one ear of his and came out the other, I just hissed and started looking for the money that had gone incognito. Quickly enough, we knew what had to be done; operation trace-our-steps-back-home-while-searching-or-else-mommy-unleashes-mr-do-goody
For effective results, which was to find the prodigal 500 naira note, the operation was carried out three times. After tracing our steps back home, we did the same back to where we realised our money was missing, and then back home again. Going back home to mommy, we had already asked the Lord to forgive us of all our sins as we returned to meet Mama J & J, the no-nonsense woman.
"Oya...smell the cane. Smell it well! What does the cane smell like?" Our mother's words when our backs are about to receive some lovely tattoos from Mr Do Goody. I had already begun predicting my fate on our way back home, especially being the elder brother.
When my mother disciplines me based on "elder brother" case, she'll be bringing Spider-Man quotes like "With great power comes great responsibility." After I would have cried the Atlantic ocean. Meanwhile, it is this same younger brother that did not used to hear word, although it was entirely my fault this time. Or maybe she never actually gave me the money??? Hmmmmmmm....
We got home, and the moment of truth came. With my high-pitched voice, I started stammering as I explained our situation. After I had presented my case, being my own lawyer, my mother did the unthinkable.
She just said "okay" and gave us another note, and then asked us to be very careful this time.
"Say what, ma?" After all the internal crisis I had!
You should have seen me in church the next Sunday, I almost gave testimony to Jesus for saving my life. Ever since that day, the spirit of money disappearance fled far away from me.
And then we went back to get our skodos...
