... Beep Beep... Beep hit
5.45am and the alarm goes off. I ignore it, as its not my alarm, so I roll over, snuggle deeper into the duvet and close my eyes. 10 minutes later, the rude noise returns like an irritating child screaming over nothing. Then I hear another sound; far worse then any alarm, child, cat fight or even house alarm (which no one ever phones the police for).... I hear the words “Time to get up for your run baby” .... UUUURGH! 'Go away Monday' and ‘how dare you say that!!’ are the first thoughts that cross my mind when my man speaks. I momentarily hate him, but it isn’t his fault. I distinctly (and stupidly) remember asking him to make sure I get up in the morning for a run before work.
‘Good man!’ you are probably thinking, and ‘stupid girl’ the rest of you would definitely be thinking along with a roll of the eyes and subtle shake of the head! I fall out of bed, feeling more tired then I did when I got into the heavenly duvet. Begrudgingly put on anything which looks remotely like ‘gym gear’ and start to put my trainers on. Hubby, is now up and playing his daily “Where are my _____ game?” Today it was keys, (yesterday his wallet) and there I am glaring at him with the “How dare you do as I say and wake me up when I don’t really mean it” - Men can listen when you don't want them to.
Hair pulled back and a real ‘jog on’ face adopted; I start my 3 mile run, jog, walk.... crawl around the block. I hate running, I would rather do almost anything then go running. When you hate running, something is always wrong and you become the master of excuses. It's the environment, It's too hot, too cold, too busy outside, your feet hurt, your bum hurts, people gawp at you (or really laugh at you) from the comfort of their cars. The ones who laugh are those who appreciate the incredible invention, the car, way too much! And the worst reason for hating running (and I speak for all women out there in the UK) is builders.
I'm sure its similar elsewhere in the UK but around 'our way', builders are an issue. ‘Back in the day’ when it was still legal for them to have their bums hanging out without offending a menopausal mother; they would have a look, whistle or a quick 'morning love!' and get back to their work aka drinking tea and eating biscuits. Now it has developed into their need to try to have a full blown conversation! "Alright Love! Cheeky! Run before work is it?... go on girl, look at that arse. Look at her.......!!' followed by the usually whistling and cheers - two words come to my mind about now (the second word is definitely 'off'). I just want to begrudgingly torture my lower body and not my ears.
The problem continues, as it isn’t just as you go past, it will be for whole time they can see you! This is not helped when they are working on the half a mile stretch of straight road you need to run to get back to your house. Flattered yes, however forced into awkward conversation? Also yes. If I wanted a useless soundtrack to my run which would make my ears want to bleed, I would be listening to Drake.
Builders, you jog on.
