I know that most of you guys have eaten Italian style Spaghetti. This is my own version: Filipino style spaghetti.The sauce is sweet compared to the Italian version which has a strong herbal/ tomato taste. Growing up, my parents did not really have enough money to spend beyond our basic needs. But whenever my mom has extra money, she will always use that to cook us some Spaghetti. As a result, my sister associates eating this food with good times, love, family. We do have a lot of fond memories growing up - even as adults associated with this food. In fact, in all our important occasions- birthdays, Christmas, graduations and any other special occasion, our mom's spaghetti never failed to appear.
Fast forward to the present and as you guys know, I had been through a lot. I have to put up with very unpleasant people, go through a roller coaster of emotions and in the end, the reality of finishing the race did not really sink in me yet.
Yesterday, I did had to say goodbye to my counselor who did supported me through my university life and, I would have wanted to end our conversation in a more pleasant note. But I am still a train wreck yesterday. I simply cannot forgive someone who had been very passive aggressive with me and subjected me to a roller coaster of emotions.I resented that person and, I even came into a part where I cannot do my paper works because of the things that he wrote. It would have been better if I got a verbal cue before getting the written feed back but, nothing.
I cooked Spaghetti yesterday just to cheer me up and mark a new beginning in my life here. Its weird. I never really considered me as an emotional eater but I guess, I am. Its not so much about the satisfaction of consuming the food but with the memories it brought back. It reminded me too of my happy times.
I am still uncertain on how I could go through life or, what specifically my plan is in the next few weeks. I just want to see how I go from here.
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