Daniel had always been brought up in a household where their father prioritized strength in a very traditional way and as such growing up he had natural leadership skills already, he was always the one people looked up to for solutions, always took it all with a smile on his face. He was the one his friends called when they had problems, the one his younger siblings came to when they needed money, and the one his colleagues trusted when something needed to be done before a deadline. Even his mother had gotten used to telling people, “Daniel will handle it” and alas Daniel always did handled everything.
What nobody knew or bothered to know about Daniel was that Daniel had become very good at hiding the things he could not handle, because at the end of the day every single person on Earth has problems. He was twenty seven years old and lived alone in a small apartment on the third floor of an old building. His room was always clean, his clothes neatly arranged and his shoes placed beside the door. From the outside, looking into the life of Daniel, everything about him looked organized but inside his mind, things were not so organized. His walls that he had built up since he was a little boy had started crumbling.
He had built the walls slowly over the years, brick by brick. One wall around his sadness, another around his fears and perhaps the strongest one was the wall that told him that asking for help was a sign of weakness.
Daniel had lost his father two years earlier, and since then, life had become different. His mother depended on him more than she used to. His younger sister was still in school. His salary was barely enough to cover his own list of expenses and the growing list of responsibilities that seemed to find him every month without fail. Every morning, he woke up with a strange heaviness in his chest, Daniel slept but sleep had become so bitter, he didn’t want the next day to even come, but tomorrow will always come, hed open his eyes and look at the ceiling for a few seconds and told himself the same thing. “Get up today will be better”. He went to work with a smile, he again sent money home, he checked on his mother and then he returned to his apartment and sat quietly in the darkness.
Sometimes he would stare at his phone for several minutes, scrolling through the names of people he could call, but every time he thought about calling, the same thought stopped him. “What will I even say?” So he put the phone down. He told himself that tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow came, lo and behold It wasn't better.
One Saturday morning, Daniel was sitting in a small cafe near his apartment. His laptop was open in front of him, but he had been staring at the same document for almost thirty minutes. His tea had gone cold. His phone kept vibrating, but he didn't touch it. He just thought it was another person calling to ask for money or some favor again, and suddenly he heard someone call his name.
“Daniel?”
He looked up. It was Sarah, she had worked with him for almost three years and as usual Daniel smiled.
“You've been staring at that screen for a very long time.” Sarah said
Daniel smiled and said “I’m working.”
Sarah looked at the untouched coffee. “No, you're not, whats wronf”
He laughed quietly and said “I’m fine”
She pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down. “You always say that.”
Something about the way she said it made him uncomfortable. She sounded like someone who had noticed the cracks.
Daniel looked away. “I've got a lot going on.”
“I know.” Sarah was quiet. Then she said something he had never expected anyone to tell him.
“You don't have to handle everything.”
Daniel looked at her. For a moment, he wanted to laugh. Instead, his eyes became heavy.
“I’ve heard but you wouldn’t understand, you’re a Nepo baby now,” he said.
“Then explain it to me.”
He looked down at his hands. There were so many things he wanted to say but the words refused to come. He had spent years building those walls. He didn't know how to tear them down.
So he simply said, “I don't know.”
Sarah nodded. “That's okay.”
But suddenly, a tear cam trickling down his cheek and another tear followed, then another. Suddenly, everything he had been holding inside for months began coming out. He talked about his father, he talked about his family, he talked about feeling like he was failing even though everyone thought he was succeeding. Sarah didn't interrupt him at all, she simply listened.
When he finally stopped talking, the café had become almost empty. Daniel leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath.
“I've never told anyone all of that.”
“I know.” Sarah said
“How did you know?”
Sarah smiled. “Because people who are falling apart don't always look broken.”
Over the following weeks, Sarah continued checking on him, she also began helping him in which ever way she could. His walls had not been protecting him. They had been imprisoning him.
He had spent so much time convincing himself that being strong meant carrying everything alone that he had forgotten that even strong people needed somewhere to rest.
The walls inside his mind did not disappear overnight. There were still difficult mornings, but he learned to say, “I need help.” He learned to say that “I don’t have”, He learned to say “No”, He learned to say that “I cannot at this time”. Months later, he returned to the same café where Sarah had spoken to hime.
Sarah arrived and sat across from him and they talked endlessly. He looked through the window at the people walking outside and noticed just how beautiful the environment actually was for the first time in a long time.
