Before I met the love of my life,(this was during my NYSC) I had totally given up on loving Nigerian women and the whole dating scene because it was a total mess (well from my standpoint). The last two women I had some form of relationship with were...I don't know the right words to use here but I will share my story.
So I met this lady on Twitter right before NYSC camp. She entered my DM to woo me and as a skeptic, I was worried about her advances towards me. In my mind, I thought she might be one of my exes' friends who was trying to get back at me or something but that wasn't the case.
you can never trust these women
Anyway, this said lady was horny and wanted to have coitus with me--someone she barely knew. The whore in me was fascinated by her boldness and impetus. Well, unfortunately, she wasn't my type (so I stalled). Plus, she revealed to me that she had a boyfriend. Now I wanted to know why she wanted to sleep with someone else when she was in a committed relationship.
Or did she want to use me for ritual?
Well, her excuse was that she was lonely and it was getting rusty down there and Nonso was the plumber that was going to fix her system. I did consider it though but thankful I never made it to camp in Lagos, which is in close proximity to her apartment. I ended up in Ibadan where I met another woman or should I say women.
I had one goal in camp--get in and get out. I don't like people and crowded places very much. I like to be by myself. So I had no intentions of mingling in camp because I did not want to serve initially. Unfortunately, I met some nice people in camp--guys and it turned out to be fun. I did not have to be a loner and that was refreshing.
One very cold morning while performing our drills a young lady approached me. She was tall, slim and witty (just the way I like them). Now, you see, I avoid Nigerian women and their wahala (problem) after the last breakfast(heartbreak) I ate, especially when I have money (and I had some money then). I was not going to spend my money on a 2-week fling. However, this said lady wasn't moving to me because of the money. I don't know, maybe I am just a fine man and women find me irresistible.
So long story short she became my camp girlfriend for two weeks (or was it three). There was this other girl whom I connected with on some level because she was a poet (I was a poet too) but this other lady had blocked her way and I am a one woman one man kind of guy, so I stuck with the one that discovered me first. I heard a gist about both ladies having beef because of me and one other guy.
I-will-never-fight-for-a-man gang in the mud!
I missed out one detail though, this said camp girlfriend of mine had a boyfriend back in Lagos (you see the pattern). So I was the side piece but I did not mind. I came into camp with no expectation and I had a fling and a couple of friends. However, I felt sad for my camp girlfriend's boyfriend. He was out there in the world being the best boyfriend (I think) while the love of his life was simping with a Corper Nonso. Thankfully, I was redeployed back to lagos and our fling ended.
This has been the story of my dating life for the most part. I have been caught in some form of a love triangle and it was really pathetic the reasons these women would give to justify their wrongdoings.
I used to think that my gender was the epitome of evil but most of the women I have countered directly and indirectly have done worse things. It is sort of comical listening to their substories online but we all know what goes on in the streets of Lagos and other parts of Nigeria. This is why for the most part I don't rate Nigerian women.
Nigerian men are not as vocal about their pain so that creates a distorted picture of what's actually happening in the dating scene. In the same way, most Nigerian women have horrible and funny breakup stories so do Nigerian men, even worst I dare to say because it is harder to move on and heal as a man. Unlike most women who are showered with a lot of love and attention, men have to find their way out of the rot of emotional trauma which often takes years and most times they never heal. They just live through and propagate their pain.
This post is not about gender (although the entirety of it says otherwise). It is more about the quality of people we have in our society today. I know in my story these women look bad but I was equally culpable (although they never revealed their relationship status until I was deeply involved with them). The dating scene is just a mess. I really do feel for people out there who are actively searching for love because it's getting harder each day.
So to have a balanced view on this topic I will be having a recorded chat with my partner (