What is Christmas Without an 'L'?

_{So there I was, or, was I there? Doesn't matter.}

Strolling along, minding my business, I hear a song.

It sounds sad and I'm becoming emotional within my mind, but I am a man, so I quickly looked around to find a nice butt to stare at. I like when they have a little bit of wiggle, but not too much jiggle.

Anyway. You see how that works. I got distracted thinking about butts and I feel better now.

Where Was I

^{...ahh yes}

The store. The song. I didn't hear the entire thing, because I was only in the store for a short period of time.

I was there to buy gitch(underwear). That's what I call, a brief stay, but I typically wear boxers.

While I was hiding inside the round rack of twenty dollar shirts trying on my soon to be new gitch, I overheard two ladies giggling. I could tell the voices were coming closer. I became nervous and there weren't any butts to look at inside my little fort. I knew I'd be busted, and I promised myself I wouldn't go to jail for this very same thing a fourth time.

So, I thought it would be best to jump up and yell, "Supplies!"

I fuck everything up when I'm nervous.

They Let Me Out This Morning

I got butter on my muffin this time.

Butter gives me the squirts. I made a huge mess of that cell. It's a defense mechanism though. None of those stereotypical prisoners will want of a piece of this ass if there's a fiery, red hot stream of shit consistently finding a new way to bubble out of me and onto the floor.

That brings us to where we are now. A happy place. The song though. I don't remember the entire thing, but the chorus is jammed into my brain like that pencil I keep there. It's actually cool. When I was teenager, I could head bang to awesome Nirvana songs and erase my math homework mistakes at the same time. We've been together for a long while. Gets itchy sometimes, but I've grown accustomed to it.

I can still hear this song though. It's still playing in my head. Normally, I have The Price is Right theme song stuck in my head and when I see people fail I hear:

That has all been replaced though.

Now I'm sitting here. I've been wondering, pondering, thinking about, meditating, reflecting on, and many other words that mean the same thing, all day.

No 'L', No 'L', No 'L', No 'L'

Such a sad sounding Christmas song and I can totally relate. I mean, as a writer, if my laptop was missing an 'L', I would probably be depressed around this time of year too.