Everything About Her: Part 2 - The Lady in Full Armor

_{This is Part 2 of my 7-Day Series on Everything About Her. You can read Part 1 here.}

To me, Shae was a person who didn't allow herself to let loose. She was shackled into being someone who cared highly about what others thought of her. Opinions seem to get the best of her especially if it was about her actions. Does she confront it? Yes. But how? She decides on changing herself to fit other people's mold. She smiles a lot but it always seemed forlorn.

As she tries to fit into people's standards, people came to like her more. Eventually, she became wary of those who approached her. Why is it though? Was she afraid to be seen as herself? Was she just protecting herself from people who try to get close to her but just become a temporary part of her life? I guess these are all just assumptions for me.

When we talked, I told her my impression of her. She just silently listened and nodded. Maybe it was the first time she heard something like this. She did say that my perspective of things was different from hers and she found that interesting. Maybe she started questioning herself if it was true but I'll never know the answer anymore.

Whenever I met with Shae and we talked, most of the time she just stayed quiet, smiled and laughed. Maybe because I was way outspoken or maybe she was just the type to listen. I hope it's the latter, haha. There was this one time though when I just felt and thought, "This is nice." It was one morning, and we were having breakfast together.

She started talking about herself. I felt her passion for her profession. There was just this gleam in her eyes. It made me happy. Then, she started talking about some parts of her childhood. I wanted that moment to last but time was against us.

I tried getting close to her and it seemed like my efforts weren't in vain. I found out that even if it was just a little, she liked me too. She liked how I would get on her nerves (masochist alert) because I am very straightforward. To be fair, she gets on my nerves too because most of the time, she doesn't know how to respond(?). Our relationship was funny because of all the misunderstandings. I'll just be proud that I managed to shake her hand. Felt her warmth but I won't give half of my life so just I could see her head.

We meet different kinds of people in our lifetime. One of them can be a lady in full armor. People whose defenses are up. No matter what we do, even when given more time, they will never show every bit of themselves. They’ve guarded their heart. In their comfort, they can protect themselves. However, they cannot run or move freely. In a sense, they’re also trapped in their own armor. Unable to unload it, haunted by the pain from an unknown past.

They cannot be approached by the insecure; For the insecure will start questioning themselves. Why don’t you unburden yourself, lady? Why do you not let me carry your armor? Do you distrust me? Am I not enough to give you courage? Comfort? I'd give you all my love and care. What else do I have to do for you to be comfortable in your own skin?

Around me, why can’t you be yourself?

Protecting ourselves is just an instinct so there is nothing wrong with not letting people entirely see us for who we are. It's just that when we are alone, I hope none of us would still need to wear that suit of armor.