So, after my introduction, this is my first post and I have no idea where to start. What should I do? How should I portray myself? Will I mess up; say something that will give another person a bad perception of myself, or fodder to ridicule me? Does it matter? Well, it might bruise my ego and I'll be upset because I'm so 'tenderhearted' as my mother says, however after a few weeks I'll get over it – probably.
Just like everyone else, I navigate the ever-changing waters of human interactions and have to be wary of the Bully-sharks and Troll-octopus. They surprise you when you least expect, when you are experience a since of exhilaration of just being and learning something new to you, and from nowhere they strike.
I’m only mentioning this because this recently happened to me and I’m still a little bit bothered by it. You see I took a DNA test. Not the type my generation would remember from Jerry Springer…
Gurl I sleep with you man and the baby is heez!” (insert Slap-down fight here).
I was so excited when the results came back that I did and unveiling. Yes, I use my limited amateur video skills to produce a YouTube video of me expressing my thoughts and emotions as the presentation revealed my unique heritage.
As soon as I uploaded I went to check the page and grab the shortcut link. To my surprised, I already had comment posted.
I read the comment and my eyes widened at each sequential word. There went my natural high. I felt like I wanted to cry. Of course, I was probably just being ‘tenderhearted’. Yeah, sometimes people are sensitive; I was at that moment in time. A line really got to me. It read….
“Its sad how happy you sound to have some European blood. Most likely due to rape. Pathetic. ”
Excuse me? Why the did this youtube Trolloctopus attack me from out of the blue? This random stranger knows nothing about my family. I know I put my results out there to the public-however I felt that did not give someone permission to attack my heritage. I would never do that to someone else! I think the worst is that she implied that I was a traitor to my race and my ancestors weren’t good for anything except for being Raped!
So, if a white person said they have African in their heritage would people automatically assume that it was from rape Probably not. But if a black person has non-African heritage in their DNA, does that mean it has to be from non-consensual acts -rape? Well according to some people yes, that exactly what it implies.
I just don’t understand this attitude. But I shouldn’t be so surprised. When I was a teen I was fascinated with learning about my heritage. When I expressed my desire to do a DNA test, I got the “You’re BLACK -so you’re from AFRICA-Duh. Why are you going to waste good money for that?” Well stupid silly me!
I thought to myself “How horrible.” Why did everyone dismiss my potential heritage just because the color of my skin ? I observed when a white class member mentioned they had Irish, German, or (insert heritage of your choice) and no one blink an eye at that statement. In fact, they praised them for it and all the other white students who had potential (insert heritage) sort of bonding over it ; despite not knowing if it were true, they all were taken at face value.
However, when I would chime in that my family also has (Irish) ancestry and my Aunt and Uncle still carried the marker that gave them green eyes and reddish hair, I was scoffed at. Was my heritage not as equally important? At least I wished it was worth more than that a roll of the eyes or a snort of derision? Should I not be proud to celebrate St. Patrick day knowing that I was also an Irish descendant?
Keep in mind, I am not disregarding my African heritage. I know I am of African descendant each time I look into a mirror. How can I dismiss something as concrete as that? It integrated with my very being and saturates my everyday life.
I never ignored my African roots, but I also wanted to know that other part of me whose lineage hail from land unknown. I wanted to find the truth in the rumors of my family heritage. Was that so wrong? Why was I subjected to basically being called a Traitor to My Race because I did not want to exclude all but my African heritage?
Traitor to my Race?
And indeed, if I am a traitor to my race, tell me what part of my race am I betraying? The 22.0% European from Ireland, West Europe, and Finland? How about the 2.5% from China and Southeast Asian, or the 1% Indigenous American? No, it must be the traces of 3.2% Greek ancestry or that smidgen of Japanese! Yes, I’m traitor to all my races except the 20.2% West African and the 30.6% Nigerian because according to my skin color, those are the only ones that count.
