Life can be annoying sometimes. You put in the effort, push yourself, and try to do everything right, but it still feels like nothing is working. And the worst part? Everyone around you seems to be doing just fine.
Why is Wisdom from high school already buying land, and I'm here debating whether to spend my last cash on food or just suffer in peace?
It's draining, and frustrating honestly. And if you're anything like me, you probably would have had those moments where you just throw your hands up and say, "You know what? I'm done"
But of course, we are never really done, are we? No matter how much we feel like giving up, we still find a way to push through. Over time, I've realized that dealing with these moments is a skill....one that I've been force to master because, life keeps happening.
For me, the first thing I do whenever I hit that I'm so tired, I can't even think stage is to talk to someone. And by "someone," I mean a carefully selected human, not just any random person who would keep saying things like, "Just be grateful " or "Try to be more positive."
Excuse me? If positive thinking could solve my problems, don't you think I would have figured it out by now??
No, I need someone who will actually listen, maybe even agree with me that life is just plain rude sometimes, and then remind me that I am not a total failure.
But sometimes, I don't even feel like talking at all. There are moments when I just stare at my phone, scroll through my contacts, sign, and then drop the phone again because I don't even have the energy to explain how I'm feeling, where do I even start? In times like this, I just sleep. Yes, I sleep, not because I'm exhausted, but to clear my mind so I don't lose it. It doesn't make the problem go away though, but when I wake up, I feel more refreshed and can handle the problem better.
Now don't get me wrong, sleeping doesn't take away my problems. it's not like When I wake up and all my worries have disappeared into thin air. No, the problems are still there waiting for me like a clingy ex that won't let go. But the difference is, when I wake up, I feel lighter, my emotions are a bit settled, and I can think, instead of just feeling overwhelmed.
If sleeping isn't an option, like when I'm out in public and people might start looking at me weirdly if I just lay down on the floor and close my eyes (because, let's be real, that would raise some concerns), I turn to music. Music helps a lot, I have this playlist that I always turn to whenever life is trying to humble me, and trust me life does that a lot. Some days, it feels like everything is going wrong at the same time, that's when I grab my earphones, hit play, and zone out.
Does it always work? Not 100% of the time. I won't sit here and pretend that music is some kind of magic that fixes everything instantly. There are days when I'll be listening to my favorite songs, trying to distract myself, and still feel like life is kicking me in the face. Sometimes, I even switch from one song to another, hoping that the next one will do the trick, but nope nothing. The stress, the frustration, the everything is still sitting right there staring at me like, "Nice try Bruh"
But most times, music helps me regain some balance. Even if it doesn't completely erase my problems. it at least calms me down enough to think straight. Instead of panicking or letting my emotions get out of control, I can just be for a moment.
However, after all the talking, sleeping, and music therapy, I still try to face the problem. ignoring it forever won't make it go away, no matter how much I wish it could. So I remind myself that I have made progress, even if it is small. It's so easy to focus on what's not working that I sometimes forget to see how far I've come. And honestly, little wins count too. I haven't bought my dream car yet, at least I am not where I was a year ago. That's something, right? Maybe my bank account still makes me want to cry, but I've learned a skill, handled a tough situation, or just made it through another day. that's still progress.
Life won't always go the way we want no matter how hard we try. Despite all the effort we put in, things will still fall apart, and we'll feel like throwing everything away. But, you know what? That feeling is valid. it sucks after putting in so much work and things won't turn out fine. Instead of letting that frustration consume me, I try to find ways to deal with it. that alone gives me the strength to keep going.
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