Real life and... poetry

I've been dreaming things that seem real.

But I've been sleeping badly. The door to my room broke and I don't know how to fix it. 😅 It's really hot and the fans blow hot air. Since I don't have a door, I can't use the air conditioning. I dreamt about a dinosaur early this morning.

And when I wake up, it feels like I come from a nonexistent time, from an era where everything good was denied to me.

(_{I have a doubt, do lazy people go to heaven or do they come looking for us?})

The first thing I did today when I woke up was... 🤔 go to the bathroom. Then I moved to the kitchen with the intention of brewing coffee. While drinking water from my lazy mug, and looking for the bottle of vitamins on the fridge door, I saw Yin drinking water from Chanel's bowl. I hope he doesn't come to ask me for vitamins now, or coffee ―I thought.

I experienced the presumption of death, I lived it - as if they had taken away the only pillar that supported the weight of my blood.

Yesterday we had an 8-hour blackout. Since I care less about "everything", as soon as the electricity went out, I quickly prepared and joined the guys to train on my bike, riding all the way to Santa Fe. I met two more guys. While I was pedaling with them, I didn't think about anything else but pedaling. Of course, neither the blackout nor the heat affected me too much until...

...I returned home. Everything was dark as a... dinosaur's mouth. After an hour, almost two, the light came back. The neighbors shouted, cheered. The joy of recovering something lost is always greater than the anger for everything we are going through.

I'm being honest: I suffer.

Social media kinda gets on my nerves too. Specifically talking about WhatsApp statuses and some groups. It might seem like I have an avoidant personality. But I just don't see a healthier option when faced with complaints and anger about something that is beyond... (it always has been) our understanding and that we also can't solve. Here, you can find a fake news about a heat dome circulating just like an alert about a failed state, and people immediately start gossiping and venting. I can't live like this.

I also have bruises on my face after an unequal battle with a giant, the giant that hides in my conscience, only there to pull me with its power into the void.

Someone very close, from my family, told me that I couldn't live in a capitalist country. I think she says that because of my evasive nature... or I don't know. I looked out the window for the dinosaur and only saw three hens and a rooster strolling through my yard as if it were theirs. Maybe it's because I'm not interested in "some" possessions.

Yesterday, the day of the farmer was celebrated in Cuba and also Gay Pride day. I saw a homophobic comment 🙄 on WhatsApp... actually, several. People make fun of it, of not knowing why they are being congratulated, if for being a farmer or for being gay. I just shake my head in disapproval and... what am I disapproving of? Maybe it's just another way of avoiding things (not mine) to make fun of everything. Sometimes I feel like this is just an endless fall. And I miss certain people in my life.

When I start to fall, endlessly, there are a few seconds where I experience a flight of peace.

There's a line in the void from which I already know the blow is coming, from which no one saves me. What I can say... now... is that I'm alive, suffering, but alive.

Today I'll be at home all day, doing homework. Well, I'll have to make some errands. My delivery guy went to spend time with his family in the East, so most likely I'll have to go to the store too. They say a kilogram of sugar arrived as a donation.

_{(Good morning my beautiful community, I would like to call my people on Saturday at 1 PM if it is possible for a meeting, please, I would like as many people as possible to participate, it's to discuss some points about the warehouse (bodega) and your concerns thank you very much have a wonderful day. {only two likes}... The issue of sugar donation is reported further down.)}

We also have a WhatsApp group, as you can see, where the shopkeeper sends out information. They say that shopkeepers are the kings of the neighborhood. Look at how this one calls for meetings 😅.Now I have to go. I think among the few useful and good vibes-spreading information I've read these days on this social network, a call to help in a campaign for street animals caught my attention.

So, I will place a container of water by the door of my house, in the shade. I feel like I should be useful to them, at least.

***The images in this post were taken in places where I went to work, a building collapse in Centro Havana neighbourhood and a boxing training session.