I recently had a love who showered me with gifts. Money was not a problem for him, so he indulged every whim I had. I received presents even when there wasn’t a special occasion, and all my needs were taken care of. From the outside, our love seemed perfect, and he was every girl’s dream. But in private, when it was just the two of us, he was a possessive, jealous, aggressive, and manipulative man. Evidently, I had to end that relationship.
In today’s society, gifts are so highly valued in any relationship that sometimes we measure and weigh others' love by the number of gifts they give us: “That man loves you because he gave you a car,” can be heard in any conversation, or “He doesn’t even take you out? Then he doesn’t love you,” they say as if they had a scale for feelings. The bigger and more expensive, the greater the affection.
But I don't believe that the love we show to other people has to do with material things. If this were fundamental, people with money would have stronger, more positive, and lasting relationships. But they don't. There are more valuable and more meaningful ways to show our affection for others and to make them certain of our feelings for them. For me, for example, love is about giving, yes, but giving peace, respect, solidarity, support, freedom. Giving these feelings to a person is the greatest giving of all. What's the use of receiving a pearl necklace if you are mistreated by the same hands that gave it to you?
Of course we all like gifts and of course it is very easy to fall into the social pressures of materializing love, making it profitable, useful, practical, ostentatious. Like someone showing a new necklace or a pair of shoes, we need to 'show' love, and that is how a war of egos, interests, and 'displays' of affection begins: it is necessary for others to admire, envy, and even use your relationship as an example. But what they don't know is that more than kissing a person or telling them you love them, what is important is that you make them feel it. When we restrict love according to the quantity or value of gifts, in one way or another we are putting a price on our feelings.
Going back to my old relationship, for many people that man felt an "excessive" love for me and "had" to endure everything if he wanted to keep receiving money and luxury. But for me, love is not chaos, it is calm; it is not war, it is peace; it is not distrust, it is loyalty; it is respect, support, tenderness. More than showing, it is demonstrating. Seen this way, loving is easy, it does not require financial investment, but it does require a lot of commitment.
