Looking back I wouldn't have thought that I could reach this point, standing weak but determined in my last semester. I was expecting that maybe in the middle period of college I might shift to another program, transfer to another school or maybe stop my education and choose to be employed but a different plan of what I thought was meant for me. I'm still here in the program I unconsciously picked and made me cry almost everyday during my freshmen year (Well, It's still making me cry until now but it's not so frequent anymore compare before.)
My younger self would be totally in shocked that I survived the previous semesters because aside from I lack interest in the major I took but I also lack confidence in myself. I didn't think I survived the heartache of receiving an INC grade. The competitive side of me disappeared like a bubble and I have been only in my survival mode all through out college.
Now that I'm in my teaching internship, I have realized a lot of things. I should stop settling for being an average because teaching needs passion and hardwork. My procrastination will definitely be the death of me. My first week of being a practice teacher was an eye opener to me. I am forced to open myself emotionally, to work on getting my spark back, to strive to be better everyday and stop being an average.
In teaching internship, it is not only my dream that I working for but I am also responsible for my learners well-being. I can't just only think about completing my university requirements, completing my lesson plans and having a passing grade but I have to also think about how can I be an effective teacher. It's so tiring to think about the loaded responsibilities but I try to always look at the positive side of everything. I'm might be stressing now but being able to reach this point is really a blessing. I have grown emotional attachment to my learners and honestly, I have been enjoying teaching but what really keeps me stress is all the paperworks.
Teaching may not be my final choice of career but this experience holds treasure to my heart. Being able to teach and gaining knowledge from professional teachers will definitely be one of the highlights of my life.
