I managed to completely ruin my sleeping pattern over the past week, leading to days being slept away and nights lazily spent watching things and generally browsing the Internet. I have felt that itch to get outside and do photography, but just haven't had that energy. With this, the weather also really picked up here in Armenia, with it reaching into the mid 30s (Celsius). I did try going for a little walk the other day in the morning as I had to go out and purchase a few things, but that experience was uncomfortable: drenched in sweat, tired, and just really feeling the regret of getting out. At the same time, I have been longing for it. Missing the days I had prior where I got out and explored a bit more. Perhaps I needed something like this though, a time where I just sat back a bit and recovered. I wasn't sleeping as much before, and I think the constant running around was starting to impact my health. Sunburn appearing on my arms, stiffness in the joints from carrying around heavy backpacks up mountains. I definitely wasn't eating nor drinking enough, that's also for sure. I woke up about an hour ago to the screaming of children, endless noise seems to be the theme around here suddenly. It does feel that if you want some peace you have to wait for that sun to set and experience the brief two hours of bliss in the middle of the night, before the roosters awaken and proceed to also scream out their lungs.
I wanted these indoor photographs to be a bit of a reflection on how this all feels at the moment, capturing that feeling of being stuck inside. That want to get out but also inability to go beyond those walls just yet. A few glimpses of the outdoors as the sun began to set and the tons shifted. Birds scattering the horizon with the remaining light behind them.
Drapes soften the light throughout the day, but the heat builds up with a greenhouse effect. An illusion of indoor comfort with a generally calmer lit environment at a glance, but that idle air, warm and void of moisture hits quick. Apparently it reaches highs of near 50 Celsius here in peak summer, and that's something I have just never experienced before. A little nervous as to what that might actually feel like and whether I can even survive that. Already feeling the pressure of the sun as it managed to burn my arms purely from the drive home the other day. The dirt already fills the air and gives off an incredibly dry atmosphere. You feel the cracks in your hands forming, the dryness within your skin. The wrinkles being pulled out of your face as your body dries up under that sun. It's easy to forget to drink enough water too, though it comes to no surprise anymore that the nation is riddled with public drinking fountains. They definitely do their part to at least try to remind you to stay hydrated. But my liquid intake as of late has been far too much coffee. Mugs that stand tall, all that caffeine a desperate bid to maintain some of the energy I had a week ago.
It makes me question what life was like here in the past. How the natives would live under much more challenging conditions. The people that relied on their produce to survive, had no air conditioning and fans. Sat beneath the scorching sun and let days pass with one beautiful sunset to the next. It's not difficult to look out into that skyline and imagine the days of more intense culture, more simple ways of life. Sometimes I feel I'm more destined for that than whatever today's chaotic society is.
Though I understand the remaining spirituality in the land even if culture has shifted. Looking out into the vast landscapes of Armenia certainly gives off an interesting emotion. There's something to it that really displays its age. It really does feel like a place that has been forgotten in time for the most part. With a much slower way of life, untouched areas of rocky and natural areas in the mountains. All kissed by that intense sunlight, producing colourful assortments of flowers and bush, Sights of farmers walking their cattle through the roads. Old churches sitting above. This is definitely a place to come to to reflect, to slow down and try to understand things. Still with a ton of chaos, with areas that I am starting to find unbearable, but that's part of the experience in the end, isn't it? A test of your own abilities.
