When we bang in to something we get annoyed with ourself for not being careful, and then we are careful after that ensuring we do not bang in to the same thing again. Instead of getting angry on our self and getting angry at the wall and hitting it back, we are only going to hurt ourself in return. There will be no difference to the wall, it will stand as is.
Sometimes I feel that with people also it is best to follow the same practice, getting angry at others is also something similar like getting angry at the wall. When we get angry at someone else, we are the ones who are most impacted and not them. It may not matter at all to them, they might just walk away as if nothing has happened. Not only it is hurtful for us but also a lot of waste of our good energy. Walking away from such people is the best way to deal with.
One of my niece, for years she has been on my nerves and on and off we fall apart. I would like to keep a permanent distance from her, but time and again she comes back into my life with some or the other reason. Couple of months back, we had met and again an incident happen. In that moment I felt very annoyed with my own-self for the first time, that every time with her rude behavior I let go and get back to her when she wants. Why am I entertaining her? Every time I would get angry at her and then we would have heated discussions. First of all I am not even that type of a person who gets angry often, so when someone pisses me off, I really blow off. But this time I felt that the problem is not with her, it's with me. I need to cut off completely and ignore her. I have to stop reacting on her nonsense. Because I could sense that she was doing it on purpose to instigate me, and then put the blame on me.
In this instance I decided to be quiet and not react in any way, nor with words, nor with actions and not even with my expressions. I just left it there and walked away. And after that she has also disappeared, no confrontation, no dialogues, which would normally happen and create more unpleasant scenes and that would leave me restless. I guess, she did not expect this behavior from me and she may not be sure of how to react.
In all of this I feel so much at peace. Giving up in that moment was hard but that was just for a couple of hours. After that I was in a much better space then what normally I am in when I have arguments with her and I express my anger. I was reacting and it was impacting me only. This time I did not and I felt so much at peace. I felt like I had made a big achievement.
We all have such toxic people in our lives, it can also be that by displaying our anger we may be toxic for other people. In both the cases, giving up on anger is beneficial. Actions taken and decisions made in anger are harmful, they can be destructive and some of them may be irreversible.
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