Lost: Where are you now?

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Its been awhile since I wrote a blog or post an article. Since I've discovered Steemit 4 days ago, I've decided to give it a try. I'm not a native English speaker so forgive me if I spoke in a wrong manner or using the wrong word to describe something. I'm a medical student but even so, I'm not quite interested in the field. Its not that I hate it, medicine is an interesting field. It is acceptable for me to study in this field since I've been steered into science and medicine specifically by my parents since I was a kid but sometimes I feel regret because I do not have the courage to stand up for what i believe in.

When I was 14 years old, I was fascinated by computer and anything related to tech devices. I remember my first laptop brought to me by my mother when I was 16. I was so happy and excited. The next month, I've learn how to disassemble them and learn how to fix it. I was so into it until my mother was getting worried because she expect me to pursue my degree education in medicine (when I expressed my thought on pursuing my degree education in computer sciences to her). She disapproves my choices and eventually I've decided to pursue my education in medicine.

Now I'm a fourth year medical student and I have no idea what's the future holds for me. I'm struggling to make my way to final year and I'm getting worried I won't have any job after I've graduated. Medical graduates in Malaysia have increased dramatically up to the point, hospital which provides houseman's training program cannot cater the overwhelming number of medical graduates. So we have to wait a significant times til they called us to work in any hospital.

It is hard for me to perform in my study when my mind is elsewhere. Every single day I found new obsession which is not related to medicine. It is like my mind tries to sway me away from medicine. To me, it is a dangerous thought and I do not know how to resist it.

God help me.


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Lost: Where are you now? | Ecency