"I've hung around with a lot of shady people over the years, losers, drug addicts, dealers, desperate (prostitutes). But to have you all here on one night is really special." - Charlie Sheen
"Q: How much coke did Charlie Sheen take last January?
A: Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Q: Who will suffer the most financially from Charlie Sheen's legal problems?
A: Call Girls!
Q: How do you know your playing a tennis match with Charlie Sheen?
A: Your opponent tries to snort the service line!
Q: Why is Charlie Sheen looking forward to hitting rock bottom?
A: Because he thinks there is a crack rock there!"
Source: http://www.jokes4us.com/celebrityjokes/charliesheenjokes.html
Source: www.boredpanda.com