Wait,.. let me feel the moment first. I’m hoping to find those kinds of feelings when I was still young while celebrating my birthday. You see, nothing seems different from an ordinary day from a birthday. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like those feelings. In fact, I desperately want it so that it hurts a little inside of not feeling it anymore. I’m not sad or anything but a little loneliness in my thoughts that pierce through my heart.
Hahaha, I’m over 30’s I know. According to the old jokes from our villages; My age is above the numbers of a calendar. Actually, I’m not sure which emotion I should have felt reaching these years living in this world. When I was young I was in a hurry to grow fast so I could do many things on my own. However now, I’m feeling sad because I’m getting older and it means leaving soon.
Here’s my family. Here’s my wife, I told her not to buy too much food in celebration of my birthday. A little amount of food is okay, just for our family to enjoy. She said, “It’s okay, it’s your birthday and it only happens once a year.” Actually, I didn’t hate it, honestly, I loved it but just hiding it. Although, I felt like there’s something missing from my celebration. The things I had when I was young and when I was still free from responsibilities and obligations. Instead of enjoying this day, I’m here earning money to make a living.
I miss those days when laughter was the only sound and conversation was the only noise. Not drown from the deep of the sea but lying in the ground and sometimes vomiting. I stood there and sometimes seated, waiting for no calm season. I didn’t need saving because even if I was in a pathetic situation I was still happy; I could laugh out hard after. There were serious matters but not to the point that could make me anxious. Okay, if I want to speak it simply, those were the days I could do anything I wanted freely.
So, what is a HAPPY Birthday? Logically, I’m not sure how to understand its meaning. If through words maybe, I know and it’s about being happy because of another number. Well, if it’s about emotion, perhaps, a little bit pretentious. In truth, not a single day will pass or pause working hard just because it’s your birthday. But still, it’s not bad to think that it’s your birthday and feel like you've won despite the challenges and shortcomings in life. I was not feeling for these past few days and weeks, so today I am encouraged to keep going again, keep striving. Instead of finding meaning what is a HAPPY Birthday, you don’t need any special reason to be. Just be grateful for another year and that is only!
Thank you for reading
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.
Paul was born in Macrohon, Southern Leyte but currently living in Cahayag, San Francisco Southern Leyte. He graduated the course of a BS Mar-E or Bachelor of Science in Marine Engineering in 2019. Although writing is his passion so instead of sailing he decided on writing.
He writes occasionally about random stuff he would see in the outside world. He loves to express what he feels through writing because he's not good at speaking personally.
He also writes fictional stories and emotions because he thinks life matters. He is hoping that his words could reach someone who might be feeling down.
Join me and support me through my adventures not just to the world but also to the human minds not to hate being alive.
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