The rooster crowed woke me up early in the morning.
The gust of wind from the sea wanted to stop me, it's so chilly and it's cold
The lazy me refused to hope that there would be fish to eat.
How boring, how tiring it would be, I ignored it all.
Even the heat of the sun burned me physically and mentally.
I endured for the sole purpose of catching fish to bring home.
I remember how my parents told us their children when we were young. Finish studying, find a white-collar job not to be like them. They don't have the treasure to leave us but the education that will never be taken can be a treasure in the future. All of us studied, finished it to make sure we could find a better job. Don't be like them, no read and no write that felt like the world fooled them. Their words were true and we believed them but it didn't make me happy.
3 years in the City of Manila working. 4 years in the City of Cebu working. I had money, at least to buy food and things I'd love to buy. A better job compared to what we worked before when we were farming and fishing together with our parents. I thought that kind of life status was better. I thought in that place I could find happiness since I had the power to do something that I wanted to do because of money.
I grew older, I started dreaming practically, and decided to buy my own happiness. That's just what I thought as time passed by when I felt bored living in that City. I felt like I forced myself to be happy or just fooled myself, that's the kind of life I wanted. But then it became just idle thoughts of me when I went home. Doing things I used to do before and having the kind of life we had before. I started thinking about giving up the profession I just achieved and just follow my heart.
Fishing sometimes when I felt like the sea was so beautiful. Farming when I felt like the mountain was so graceful. Going out, sightseeing the surroundings, and just smiling, glimpsing other people's faces. Ah, I feel like I'm a fool right now. How could I give up a better life when I have opportunities to have it. People might think I was lost in the depths of nowhere that made me insane. Some people want it but then why I just threw it away?
Just today, I woke up at 4 in the morning to prepare the fishing materials before sailing. I just had a coffee and forgot the breakfast. Early morning is the best time to have a nice catch was I thought. It's fine, the food could wait but fish wouldn't if I would be at the sea late.
The sun was so hot as it started showing up. There's nowhere I could hide so endurance was my only option to have the patience that there would be a catch. Even the skin was burning. Even the eyes were dizzy. Even though it felt really tired floating above the seawater. It's fine because for sure there would be a catch that could be eaten or could be sold.
I admit it was really hard that it made me weep. I laughed, I was disappointed and I thought I was crazy. How could I complain when this is the kind of life that I wanted. Life like this is indeed not easy but I don't understand even though I'm really tired of spending almost a day on the sea. It never came into my mind to give up this kind of life. I understand that I'm really tired. I feel like I want to keep lying on my bed.
I'm still thinking about going back again. I'm still thinking of trying another way of fishing even though I didn't catch much today. Perhaps because I love what I'm doing and what I will be doing next time. Money is not a guarantee but I don't mind as long as I'm happy. The things I want to buy might be limited but it's alright. I just think that having this kind of life stops me from asking too much. I may look poor to others, I don't mind as long as I'm satisfied with this kind of life. Regrets will just come if you're not happy with what you want to do.
Thank you for reading
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fitted to my article.
Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, have fun with me talking about life events and random activities. It's fun to learn about life, don't hesitate, let's figure it out as we continue enjoying staying in this world.
