When you're in love, everything seems romantic. It's like magical the same in the movies. You're like a child whose imagining of fantasies. Everything really seems so sweet and no bitter ends. That's how I understood love long ago. I was like a fool, making a woman the center of everything.
This was me long ago. A fool who thought that love will always the same. A hopeless guy who forced someone to feel the same like I did. I wasn't aware those times because I was blinded because of love. I thought what I was doing back then was correct. It's fine to act that way because it's normal as a man who really loves a woman.
It's like a thunderstorm was hit my world. A super typhoon that won't let me ready myself before facing it. It was so sudden like before I felt the pain. The tears were already falling endlessly. I didn't want it to happen, I didn't want her to go. But when a person loves someone, even a flood could be stop just not the feelings of a person.
I cried, I bent my knees as I beg. I asked her and asked her even though I already knew the answer. She already told me but I just didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to accept it because it's painful like living in an empty room with no light. That time I didn't know what to do anymore. I wanted to stopped the pain but I still didn't want to end my life.
Almost a year of carrying that agony. I still managed to heal the pain but she still visited me in my dreams. It's not normal maybe but for me it was because I loved her more than my life. We built our dreams together. I already considered her as my wife in the future. What's worse was, I imagined myself living with her forever smiling. Sorry for that kind of emotions. I just thought that first love never dies.
Maybe because until now I can still see her face clearly in my mind. Although there's no mixed feelings about it. Maybe it was just part of my bitter love story that it's hard to forget. It's not perfect and bad ending but still. There were times that made me happier and made me felt that nostalgic feeling of love.
I accepted that she's not for me and she won't be mine for sure. She's happy living with her own family. I'm happy living with my own life now. No more suing each other and no more blaming anymore. Let the past live in the past. Just focus on what makes me happy in the present. The pain was long gone, there's no meed to imprisoned myself from those painful memories. Why should I now, I know myself better than anyone else. That I'm a dreamboy who lives in the dreams of fantasy.
image is mine
huawei p8
edited: photo collage
@mrnightmare89