My dead father was a farmer and a fisherman. While my mother was a housewife and sometimes a housemaid. Living in a world where eating enough 3 times a day was hard to happen. How much more buying unnecessary material needs. It was not easy to achieve and every day I felt jealous. A lot of questions in my mind while watching those children who lived in abundance.
I didn't regret that our life was like that. I was still happy with my own family. It's just that sometimes I used to compare how our life status from others was different. They were sitting in gold while we were sitting in a broken chair.
As time went by life became harder and harder as I understood more about life. I studied with a hole in my uniform because it was just given by someone. I experienced being bullied because of being poor. Although some of them were just the same as ours, maybe they just thought theirs were better.
It was in my elementary grade when a store owner didn't let my sister credit the soy sauce and cooking oil. It was supposed to be a viand food for our dinner. My sister cried and my mother was angry with her. Not because she was mad but because she pitied our situation. That time I realized we were that poor. I didn't cry but was just disappointed about life.
I also remember when I was in high school that the teacher didn't let me walk on the stage to get my diploma. I graduated at that time but it didn't let me feel excited because I haven't paid my tuition fees. It was harsh and painful to me because high school days were over and we all know high school was the best day in school. But I was a little bit mature and I decided to hide my emotions so that it wouldn't be that pathetic. I chose to show a smiling face instead of weeping tears.
I stopped for 2 years after I graduated from high school. My parents were saving money to send me to college. Of course, I didn't let them do all the responsibilities. I joined them in earning money because I didn't want them to think I was just a burden. I saw my high school classmates bringing their bags in going to their respective schools. I was again jealous but I knew how our life was and I decided to handle it.
Life will not always be beautiful but it can be. My sister who was rejected before in a store has a better job and for sure she can buy anything now. Actually, she is still currently working abroad and just visited our once in a while in our house. Although my father was dead long ago he still experienced a better life compared to before. My other siblings became professional so they gave him what he wanted.
I'm not a good boy because I stopped and resumed studying due to financial problems. Even so, I still managed to have my diploma in college and planning to work as a seafarer. You will be the one to decide what kind of life you will have in the incoming future. It's up to you if you want a brighter one or a darker one. As long make sure you will have no regrets. Life will not stay the same unless you will stop believing in it. It may not happen right away because just like flowers. It will never bloom from the time you planted. It takes time and when the time comes you will be surprised how pretty it will be.
Just endure because even if your life is not beautiful now. There's no guarantee tomorrow will be not beautiful. Endure it for now and keep on believing for a change to happen. Of course, you need to put any effort into it.
Thank you for reading
images are mine
d' dreamboy,
