Close friends are truly special and I realized that at an early age. As a family, we moved around a lot – not only changing neighborhoods but also changing continents. As a result, my siblings and I were close but we were all so different. We had our own circle of friends which we cherished. We were often away from our extended family so when we made great friendships, they became our family.
As a famous verse says,
“Better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.”
Some of my closest friends seems to be in the same predicament as myself. We were expats or had Dutch partners and have settled here. Although “blood is thicker than water” – if something occurs right now, I am truly grateful for my friends as my immediate family and in-laws are hours or thousands of miles away. I enjoy the company of my friends and every so often we do small or big things to show our appreciation. This manifests itself sometimes unexpectedly like it did some time ago, when I was with a good friend called Cath.
Suddenly she announced,
“I am throwing an afternoon party in your honor since I will miss your birthday party.” Cath's face was beaming with delight.
I was taken aback. My first reaction was,
“No that is totally unnecessary. Let’s go out to lunch or dinner instead.”
“No, we can do that anytime,” retorted Cath. “I feel terrible that I will not be here for your party. If all your closest girlfriends can make it – we can spend more quality time together than at your large birthday party. You are preparing something for others to enjoy – I would like to do this for you.”
Well, she had a point. Cath always thought things through and it always seemed logical. I knew she was suggesting the party because she really wanted to do something special for me. I graciously accepted.
Cath’s home is always beautiful and she shares it with others with pleasure. My friends were invited from 12 until 6 pm. It was certainly fun with all 15 ladies. The food was delicious and conversation was buzzing. There was lots of laughter and merriment. It was an unforgettable pre-birthday afternoon party.
My pre-birthday lunch
Cath is a great friend; not only when we are toasting with mimosa in a celebratory setting but also drinking a cup of tea and discussing life and current affairs. With her I feel comfortable. We can talk about everything and we do.
One day I told her,
“Cath – we are living in the book 1984!” she chuckled.
I continued,
“In this time of misinformation, disinformation and alternative facts, it is comforting to speak to someone who does not use the term conspiracy theory every time one expresses an original thought.”
She laughed so hard that I also started laughing.
We have many things in common including our investigative minds. We do not agree about everything, for sure we do not. If we disagree, we are always curious about each other’s perspective and explanations. We have some similar interests and taste and that is very comforting. We have other friends with similar traits; however, we appreciate that we have a special friendship.
Although we live relatively close to each other, we do not see each other that often. We have busy lives and know that we are always a phone call away. She also runs her own business. Family is very important to her and keeps her very busy. She does a lot with her in-laws. She travels more than I do and attends various family functions. We were asked recently if we are actually from each other’s extended families, she answered,
“Momogrow is my “soul” sister!”
I totally agree.
I must think back to when we first met.
It was an unusually cold Halloween night. The full moon shone brightly in the heavens and the trees, devoid of leaves casted an unnatural shadow on the streets. It added to the eerie feeling of the night. Adults and children ran around in ghostly and ghastly costumes, making our stomachs turn. There I was, with my 3 young children ready for “trick or treating”.
Ok – I might exaggerate a bit! This is what happens when you tell a story several times – it gets better every time.
Halloween is not a Dutch celebration, so it is an organized event in our neighborhood as there are many foreigners living here. Cath was instrumental at the start of this project. Parents donate the funds for the treats, which are distributed thereafter to participating homes in a certain radius. Dutch families join in the fun as well. My children and I passed Cath’s home without stopping although I saw the glowing orange pumpkin. Out of the darkness, I heard someone ahead of me saying,
“Please stop by my home – every year we have too many sweets left over.”
The kids stocked up on sweets. She waited for us, we introduced ourselves and our children. Then said goodbye. Despite the hundreds of people, we kept meeting as it is not a large area for this activity. We spoke again and have not stopped since 2011. Some things are just meant to be.
Cath loves tradition. I do too. Halloween became a family activity we shared but it morphed into an annual after-party. Then the kids grew up. Now we have other family activities that we do together, such as our annual Christmas cookie making. Traditions are great, it creates fond memories. It is also nice when our respective family members get along. Now our husbands have their own traditions too.
Sometimes after not hearing from me for a while, I get a call asking,
“Should we walk for an hour in the park?” or
“Would you like one of my nice cappuccinos?”
I hardly ever say no. Sometimes one of us need the coffee/tea more than the other or not at all – it is about getting together. I love our spontaneous lunches which might turn into a dinner - if we invite a few more friends or family who can handle spontaneity.
Our walks in the park are the best; we get to see it throughout all seasons. Over the last 3 years, we trod that park very often. Lockdowns brought us closer together. We could go for a walk – so we did that avidly. We learnt more about each other. We could laugh and cry all in one sentence. It was all fine.
I do not like when either of us are sick but it’s life and it happens. We keep each other’s company via a one-minute text, health checkup call or visits - when it is needed. As she is in the wellness industry, she often has great resources or tips.
Cath and I have done a few projects together as well. I always thought it is better to not work with family or good friends. However, I have changed my mind – it depends one's character. We respect each other strengths and then that person takes the lead. That is certainly a win-win.
The best part about our friendship is its multifaceted nature. There are many stories that I could tell but it would be a tall tale. We are there for each other when we need each other and we love doing things together. We are creating fond memories.
I like the saying,
“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
I totally agree with this saying and indeed some friends fit into just one category. However, we do need all types of friends. Not everyone needs to be our bosom buddies. However, for Cath I will interpret this saying like this: she came in my life for a reason, we enjoy the seasons and our friendship will last a lifetime.
This is my response to Inkwell's Creative non-fiction - Prompt #16
This photo is taken by me.
