Oops. This post became WAY longer than I intended. What you see here is after a LOT of brevity editing (1000+ word reduction).
There are people out there in the world who are never moved to tears.
They might cry from simple sadness; the death of a loved one, getting fired. But when it comes to those tears that are ripped from one's very soul through expression of art or general beauty, some people just never seem to experience it. Society has created restrictions that demonize such a behaviour as weak or weird.
I was quite a stoic myself, spending most of my young years very emotionally restrictive. Love interests couldn't hack it, consistently describing me as some kind of emotionless robot.
Probably because my dad was very stoic and emotionless, continuing from a long line of traditional stiff upper lips, the norm in my grandfather's day, when even marriage was less about being in love and more about practical tradition.
Breaking Free
So, a cross-generational stoicism plagued me growing up, but at some point, I managed to break free. I'm not sure precisely how or when, but it was around my early 20's when a lot of difficult events unfolded. Since then, I've spent years trying to strike a balance between these two worlds; one of an unlocked emotional Hopeless Romanticism, and one of a cross-armed Ice Golem. Now, at 36, I reckon I'm doing pretty well. At least, I've uncrossed my arms.
Music that makes me weep.
One of the greatest tools in my belt for accessing emotions is music. I generally listen to music by myself, as there is nobody else throughout my entire life that shares my tastes and my over-passionate listening approach. This means my usual inhibitions are switched off, or at least, easy to turn the dial to my pleasing without those pesky social expectations having me man up.
To be clear, these tears are not tears of sadness, per se, but an appreciation of that emotion, a kind of connection to something we often otherwise try to avoid. I can weep at a tragic piece of music, whilst otherwise being in a perfectly wonderful mood.
So, here's a four examples to try and demonstrate ways in which I find myself blubbering at the sheer beauty of things. *I'd be legitimately interested to hear anybody else's, too. I need some new music. *
Hold on, If love is the answer, you're home
This one actually did just make me legitimately sad for the end of Daft Punk. I have grown up with and absolutely adored their music for as long as I can remember.
But the video and music itself is pulled off so artistically with a rich aether of symbolism, so it certainly didn't help the tears.
To Be Someone Just Like Him
Octavarium is a hell of a 24-minute journey, one that I've listened to countless times over the years. An insanely intelligent and virtuosic piece, it tells several stories which ultimately are stitched together by a common theme: A circle, A journey that ends where it begins.
Story 1
After the ridiculously long 5-minute introduction, the song actually starts, and the first story tells us of a man who denounces the ways of his father, a man who lives every day the same as the last. This young man wants none of that; he has ambition and drive. He wants to accomplish everything.
And so he goes on to accomplish this, far beyond anything his father could have imagined in his little safe and secure home. But, alas, the young man now feels empty. What more could there be to accomplish now?
Ultimately, he realises, after all that, the one thing he wanted more than anything else, was to, poetically, become just like his father.
See the circular theme?
This connects to me very deeply. As a man begrudgingly living his adult life in huge cities, unable to get out of such lifestyle, I am surrounded by the over-ambitious, and I am looked down upon for my simple desires to have safety, security, and contentedness.
It pains me knowing that such an ambitious lifestyle, one that the greater society practically thrusts upon us all as if there's no other concept of success, invariably leads to a life devoid of substance and meaning for so many, if not most.
Story 2
Story 2 is not so relatable, but sad in its own right. About 9 minutes in if you're interested.
Quite simply, a man had an accident and has been in a coma for 30 years. Doctors eventually manage to wake him up with new medication, just long enough to talk to him momentarily, but he relapses and falls straight back into a coma.
Can't you stop what's happening?
The musical approach to these narratives really helps. Each part musically develops and flows alongside the story, growing in intensity, ebbing back to hopelessness, and so on. This is the kind of storytelling you just can't get from a 3:30 Taylor Swift 4-chord loop about a break up.
'I'm not on your side'
This beautifully simple acoustic piece by Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) has made me cry a few times; another storyteller whose voice alone can make your throat croak up.
The story tells us of a man who needed to confide in somebody, turning to the church where he tells of his life and difficulties getting through, considering suicide. the church welcomes with open arms and brought him to gracious tears, saving his life with unconditional love.
That is, until they discover the reason for his difficulties is because he is gay, not accepted in society, abused, beaten in the streets, and only the church was there to help.
Unfortunately, the priest quickly took on a different tune, asking him to leave the church:
'You're probably paying for your sin. I don't understand your kind'
So much for unconditional love, eh? Speaking of which:
Bronte
In the purest possible sense of the words, this is a beautiful, sad song by Gotye. It's so gentle and pure, it captures the spirit of the subject perfectly: A reflection on the time Gotye had to say farewell to his beloved dog and put him to sleep.
We will be with you, and hold you 'til you're quiet. It hurts to let you go
I've experienced this too often, never in the ideal circumstances. This song just hits home way too hard.
The video actually tells a different story, one seemingly about growing up and leaving your child-like wonder of the world and imagination behind. Both work to wet the eyeballs, I'd say.
How about you?
These are just 4 examples but there are an uncountable amount more that tug at my heart strings, many of which contain no lyrics whatsoever, and the beauty of the music itself can work wonders.
Don't forget to let go sometimes, people, whether through music, movies, art or otherwise, just let it happen ;)