I just remembered something that transpired few years ago between me and my friend. It is an experience I still think about from time to time.
I have always been an introvert. I enjoy my own company and don't even mind spending time alone. Though some people assume I'm unfriendly, or that I don't like staying around people. The truth is, that's just how I'm wired. I value my quiet moments, but I still care about people in my life.
At that time, I was living in a small one room apartment, life wasn't really comfortable. Nothing much was in my room, what I slept on was a small student foam I bought for 7,000 naira. No fancy furniture and barely enough space to move around. Infact I was just managing. To make things even more challenging, my younger sister was staying with me, so we were just trying to make the best of the little space we had.
Then one day, an old time friend called me, she explain that she was looking for a job in porthercourt and would like to stay with me temporary until she found one.
I understood her situation and honestly wished I could help. Sadly i couldn't.
I tried my best to explain my situation, I told her my room was too small and that my sister was already staying with me. After explaining everything, I hoped she would understand, but she never did. Instead she became upset.
She believed I was making unnecessary excuses, selfish and unwilling to help a friend in need.
Honestly that really hurts..it wasn't because she asked for help, but what hurts was being judged by her. She didn't want to understand my own circumstances. If I had a bigger room or even a proper bed, I would have gladly shared with her.
Looking back now, I don't hold any resentment towards her. Perhaps if our positions has been reversed, she might have struggled to understand my situation too.
Sometimes we judge people base on what we see, forgetting that everyone is carrying their own burden.
Since then, I have learned to give people the benefit of doubt. Before concluding that someone is wicked, stingy or selfish, I remind myself that there may be story I haven't heard.
Image is ai generated.
