I've spent some time going through old photos and memorabilia items. Some of them I had completely forgotten about, some made me smile, while others made me teary-eyed. Some other things in the storage held no significance in my life and made me wonder why I kept them in the first place, so it was easy for me to let go of those things.
That picture above was a candid shot taken by the resort photographer while I was on duty 20 years ago. When I look at that photo, it seems like a lifetime ago, based on the fact that my life is so different now. However, that particular day that the photo was taken, has memories of an event that I look back at as a defining moment in my life, when I was fully self-aware of who I am and what taking responsibility and facing the music meant.
(I've written about "a little scenario" in this post of coincidentally wearing my bright orange jacket at the least ideal of times if anyone cares to read it).
My former career and work life helped me to form lifelong habits, develop values, and apply principles, which I've used positively across different aspects of my life.
Back then, despite much personal growth and advancement I had made throughout my career, there was always a sense of emptiness. I had often fantasized and pondered about different avenues and simpler ways of life that I found appealing that I thought were closer and more ideal for my nature and personal beliefs and what I thought would bring me happiness.
I had a desire for doing creative mindful work, with an emphasis on my holistic well-being, and with facing my truth, and rising above challenges I learned how to be mentally tough and developed a bulletproof mind.
Still, my journey took me down different avenues, and throughout the years I learned the importance of going with the flow and applying flexibility and adaptability to bend and bounce back from life's lows and overcome failures and mistakes.
I realized that aiming for perfection was a form of weakness and fear, and instead I focused on continuous improvement for the long run.
I've always enjoyed teaching myself and learning new things on my terms more than in a classroom setting, therefore in my library collection are self-help books and other creative tutorial books.
... and guess what?
My interests are vast, as I'm a multi-dimensional person, but what has surprised me is that all interests have manifested into more prominent and more substantial aspects of my life throughout the years. I have developed new skills which have complemented earlier interests.
"Everything changes, yet everything remains the same" comes to mind when I peruse my collection.
From books that I have collected, old journals, and letters that I've written to myself; I see how much I have changed, yet stayed the same, and I'm a better version of myself.
... I had to look clearly at this one and turn a few pages to see if it was mine... and as I did, I was reminded of why I never judge a book by the cover.
"366 motivational messages that make every year a leap year - A leap from self-doubt to self-fulfillment!"
"What Is Tough-Minded Faith?"
- Sensing success in dark times
- Prioritizing your possibilities
- Coming back after defeat
- Adventuring into new territories
- Facing the future unafraid
- Trading off anxiety for peace
- Standing up for your convictions
- Assuring yourself of success
- And much more.
I never got around to reading this book, but from the list above, I've learned and applied all those things through experience and necessity, and I'm more than eager to read this book and all the others that I never had the time to read before.
Reading my old journal, I now acknowledge that I had an unhealthy idea about my body and often saw skinny me as fat. It wasn't anything to be alarmed about because I was not self-destructive or anything, but it makes me sad to know that I felt that way. I still love fitness, but for the right reasons.
Most of the fitness activity that I engage in now is for spiritual well-being, and I am not concerned about what the number on the scale would be if I stepped on one.
I'm at a different level now, and in a healthy place.
I used to get embarrassed reading back my journals, and things that I've written down in the past... I'm someone who writes down EVERYTHING and time. It has been humourous reading old complaint letters that I've written, and it took me back to the time when I entered my TV Cable office to say hello to the staff who finally got my cable sorted after a series of letters and phone calls. When I stated my name, every member of staff knew my full name and address by heart and told me that they feared for their lives whenever I called to complain... I had to present an identity card to prove to them that I was the person I claimed to be.
I have mellowed and I no longer stress over small stuff 😊 I have trained myself to see the humourous side of everything now.
I'm comfortable in my skin, mindful, and take full responsibility for my emotions and my actions:)))