It took me days, hours, minutes, and seconds to wonder why all this happened, and why you decided to have a change towards your true feelings.
I am still finding it hard to believe you left me, well what else can I say, it’s your decision. Everytime I tell myself the truth looking at the mirror acting strange to my physical self, staring at my eyes in the mirror and all I see is you, I just find it hard to believe you are no more with me. I still think of you every time like it was yesterday, but now it’s all over which hurts me and makes me feel sad.
I have been in so many relationships and had so many experiences but I have never for once looked at the mirror and talked to myself that (Damn I fell for this babe) you broke up with me and I felt guilty like I have truly offended, I keep on wandering what am I supposed to do, what have I done but the truth is I wish we never go separate ways, I wish we are together, I wish we are meant for each other, I wish you were never distracted by everyone words around you and things around you, I regret you should have never thought too deeper of both of us, because I know i am mot oerfect and i have my flaws. It pains me so bad because i have never thought of losing someone like you my heartbeat for you.
Photo by Leeloo The First from Pexels
I really hate to feel this way. While staring at the mirror i said to myself, is this the way heart break feels, the feeling of guilt, whereby we tend to blame ourself for everything that has happen or is happening to us, and there is nothing we can do to change it to our own taste. Then I thought pf what i could do to wave time and distract my mind so I don’t get depressed, i then thought of playing musics. The first music that came to my mind was a fast hiphop/rap musics and sevral others so i can distracted from this thought but it did not worked that way instead i felt the music was shouty and too loud for my hearing and my mood. I then decided to play this song sang by Alek Olsen, i felt this song really deep inside me.
For hours i kept this song on repeat and was reflecting in so many things and so many ways, then i concluded that my personal self growth really matters a lot than any other thing my personal growth, making my family, mom, dad, sis proud.
Laters i played my best emotional song Lord huron, i know i am not perfect but i will try to move on and be the better version that helps and change people to he better than me. I have always had a vision in my life, that is to make everyone around me proud and happy that people may never regret knowing me but bless the day they knew me or came accross someone like me.
Then i came into conclusion, that i am a good man, I remember doing my best to make everything be happy and end well even though i did not perfect. I am patient, real and authentic, respectful and responsible. I know for sure that someday soon I will get it.
