Insignificant Details
An overload on consciousness.
To be woke is what you think it is,
but you're in terror mode,
and you'll see no less.
Your eye focused on what you set
Then seconds pass and you forget
Still, we feel it all, events in bliss.
This is a reflection of how my brain works during events that I think are important to me. I think we can all relate to the stressful "quantum time fissures" that happen in our brains when we are about to make a certain big decision. In its cortisol chaos, your body creates timelines into the future and into the past. You think, sowing seeds of regret, how things could have been different if only you had said this, or done that, gone there, or stayed here. Each missed opportunity propagating outward new, more favorable scenarios until finally, you feel the physical distance of those alternate realities, like a pit in your stomach, and the fruit of your mental effort rots all around you.
This is acceptance, this is normal. You've gained an insight into worlds that will never ever ever be, but more importantly, your body has moved onto the next phase, the phase of what could be, what should be, what will be. This phase is in some respect more difficult to process. For one, what affected your past has passed, but emotions linger and the variables in the future are dynamic and less predictable. Through the day, and in sleep, fear draws the worst most irrational cases, and hope paints the best.
Your will has been fertilized by your struggle, and a decision has to be made. Haha, and hopefully with luck and love we get past our insecurities, but most of the time we question ourselves, and we watch our insecurities grow.
Sorry that was so longgg
Run onnnnz
I wasn't planning on going on like that, and maybe we don't relate at all. Anyways, this process used to haunt me. I would obsess over small problems, the smallest insignificant details, and I wanted to control my life and wanted to be a better person by it. I want to be mindful, but I am coming to terms that I'll never be able to time travel, and I should make the most of my life and stop sweating the small stuff because life goes on, and fermented sorrow doesn't even get you drunk!