The One Who Was Left Behind

michellpiala(57)

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#freewrite

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465

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3 min

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I am not being honest when I said that I don't mind if people come and go.

By now, I've learned that you can't and won't be able to hold someone just because you want to, even if you do everything just to make them stay. It's like I kept on holding onto people and they still leave anyway.

^source
But knowing that fact does not make it okay, it still breaks me into innumerable pieces just right before I heal from the last, last, last torment I've been through.

What makes it harder for me to understand is that these people who I hold onto, has a common way of leaving—

They left without giving any reasons.

They left without saying goodbye.

They didn't even made an effort to say it to my face.

I was always left clueless as if I don't deserve any compassion, the truth or even a little respect.

I tried to make myself believe that it's alright. I pretended it was my nature to give whether it be things, love or time and I must not ask anything in return.

I told myself it is okay.

But have you seen me now? I don't think 'okay,' made sense.

I became scared stiff of people, I spent majority of my life doubting everyone's motive. Trusting someone has never been on my plate. I built walls and egos so no one can get near me.

^source

Now tell me, am I okay?

I wonder what difference would it make if they just manned up and told me everything I need to hear. If they just showed me some respect by telling me their reasons...

Maybe just maybe—I could have changed for the better. I might have the confidence to start over. I won’t be afraid to commit or to be in any relationship.

My life could have been smooth as a silk if they have at least consider little of what I feel.

“What was it like to lose him?" Asked Sorrow.
There was a long pause before I responded:

It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to
me—said all at once.” ― Lang Leav

TODAY'S PROMPT: SMOOTH AS A SILK

^{* Freewriting- is the practice of writing down all your thoughts without stopping, and without regard for spelling, grammar, or any of the usual rules for writing. It might include a topic (prompt) as a general guide, or it might not.

** Thank you @mariannewest for your initiative to run #freewrite, #freewritepoetry, #freewritepoetrydigest.}