Hi , Hive it's me again hehe it's been a while since i open this again I've been busy lately I'm sorry if i don't really active in this apps i just been busy and don't have load sometimes hehe soooo , let me start my moments
Wayback
way back when I was grade 11 where the moment I became with honor I active in class everyday participate and always jam with friends and classmates not until I become grade 12 I don't know what's wrong with me this year I've been always tired no energy to go to school just want to sleep all day all i can say that 2023 is worst year for me it's rarely to share my happiness I've been always with my self I just want to be alone , I want to hangout with my friends but they're busy they always talk about there plans that I can't relate they're having fun i want to joint but i feel not belong with them I'm insecure and jealous and the same time but it's okey i overcome this feelings I'm okey , Im fine as long I see that they're happy without me.
Christmas party
Way back on Christmas party when I can see my classmates being happy and enjoying the party haha , Actually just watching them being happy is already great for me
Memories
Thanks to my classmates taking this picture I don't really like being take in picture but this classmates want to picture me because she wants me to have a memories in Christmas party I'm not confident in my self I'm full of insecurities that's the reason why I don't have really good memories i already stay in the house never go out with friends never having fun , being alone is already okey with me no bothering thing's happen on me.
This Christmas is boring for me I don't even have a picture with my family haha Christmas being alone my fam didn't come home haha I'm jealous who's family complete out there haha it's hurt haha no one thingking about me in my family haha they didn't even bother to great me I'm part of family too but why they make me feel like I'm not belong with them?is this really a Christmas ? Arg!so tired of them.
Family , family , family hahah I don't have that I'm with my self with my self only. Christmas without family new year without family again! it's soo boring haha , but anyway thanks to my boyfriend then for making me feel being not alone but it's too different without family the feelings of yours cravings your family love different than love of your boyfriend even though my boyfriend is here with me i still feeling lonely , I want to have celebration with my family i just want to feel there love i just want them to come with me hangout with me family dinner i just wishing that they're here with me! Celebrating Christmas and upcoming new year. Why it's soo unfair when i just want them to come here in home馃槥.
I hope next year it's would be full of joy of happiness that will be call me the best year ever 馃挓
With him
this moment when he wants me to date with him because I'm being alone in house i feel boring that's why he take me a date he want me to have fun and enjoy the Christmas but i still feel being alone even he is with me , it's great that he think my feelings that even he want to spend time with me imbis saiyang family he respects my actions and emotions that I can't feel happy but still he trying his best to make me smile thanks to him being with me even I didn't feel the love of my family his family makes me feel it and he also make me feel the love of him , his so kind and cute at the same time hehe even he don't understand me sometimes but atleast he overcome it and make me smile again!, he wants me to forget my past trauma's he really working hard to make me forget it because Everytime i got my anxiety and depression it's always bring me back where the moment someone harassment me , hurt my physical and emotional my health is not good because of this sick. I want to overcome and forget it too but it's really hard to move it's really damage on me! That's why i appreciate and loved my boyfriend thanks to him even I'm not fully healed his there with me and stay :)
So for now thank you for reading my blog being drama , oa moment but i just shared my feelings today wish me luck to overcome and be fully healed this upcoming 2024 thankyouuu hive and for readers I loveyouu鉂わ笍
