Weirdo, Nerdy, Antisocial?? Enigma!!!

Greetings to ye, hivers and nigers. I just wanted to rhyme them, haha. Uhmmm, hello to you ! This is , I think my first post in the @hive-naija and well, hi 🤭 For this week's prompt , i really had to really sit and think just what kind of student was/am i? I never thought such a simple question could be so hard. Being so self aware and yet so delusional, I find it hard to strike a balance sometimes 😩😂.

What kind of student are/were you in school?

Photo created by me using pixellab

I was what you would call an enigma, at least that is is what I think.
I could only tell this story from my point of view but still I Wonder, what my classmates thought of me and what my colleagues think of me? What do the people around actually think of me.....we would only know if they told this story, right?

In high school, I never really got to connect with a lot of people but you could say I tried to keep it mutual. I went to two different high schools, so It probably impacted in my social life but not in a very positive way. I was selectively social and somehow this selection was based on gender. Weird, right? I hear it all the time. So, I guess I was what you would call the weird student but definitely not the dull one because guess what? I was pretty much the teacher's pet and you know you only get that privilege if you're considered a bright kid or a well behaved one which was then mostly graded according to how quiet you were and quiet, I was most of the time. What they didn't know however was that I was usually the loudest in my friend groups. To some, I was what you will call the well rounded student because I would do dances during school parties, I would sing sometimes and I was still doing well in class but I only did most of that if I had my friends with me.

The truth is/was, I just learned that I have this adaptability skill that so much so makes me use a chameleon in comparison. It is a blessing and a curse where I mirror people's energy, change personalities or basically not have one interest in things and I think I used to subconsciously aware of this, so, I was though gender selective, i was still picky with my friends. In the two different high schools I went to, I had a relatively good relationship with my teachers but not so much with my classmate and somehow, I knew that some of them did not like me but what could I do?
I got accolades, awards, a prefect position as the disciplinary prefect and well, I was never the one to not be among the top 3. The only two times I got a grade lesser....a 4th position, I almost had a heart attack and the one time i had a 10th position,i cried my eyes out , my daddy had to be the one comforting me. But I was never all about the grades , yet somehow my social life suffered.

The only real issue that tormented me in school was maths and the thought of losing the little friend circle I made because I get easily attached and well, it's hard to make new friends, duhhh! Meeting new people is scary, to be honest.
I never really had a real life crush during high school but I did have the celebrity ones and the fantasy that played and still plays in my head of this perfect love story, you know? But yeah, I never really experienced teenage love. I loved seeing it in movies but I never saw myself together with any of the dudes in my class/classes and I was the school to home kinda person with the exception of sundays where I go to the meetings or on weekdays when we worship. So, yeah, where could I have met someone? Even as a high schooler, I have always wanted that deep connection kind of love, you know? But anyways, I admired the ones that tried to blossom....at least they tried.

When I got into college, Because of my social anxiety, I rarely talked in public or engaged in parties. Infact, I barely have friends and the ones that I do have, was formed on the most organic way possible and I love that for me. I hate forced relationships. My ma always told me that the one who has a lot of friends, is the one always wronged. And I agree with her, because if I'm friends with you, I wasn't to be present for you and be there with you but personally for me, i find it hard to do that when it's a lot of friends , you know? But I understand that in what they call, "the real world", this ideology is considered somewhat stupid and weak. I try to keep my colleagues as acquaintances and mutual and if we turn friends, good! If we fall out, I try to not be the reason because I still know that there are people in this world that don't care about you or what's going on with you at all! So, I try to steer clear. In @beeeee 's post, she mentioned of how she was the nerdy person and made few connections. I actually don't see no issues with being a nerd and not being social. It has it's perks. But I also admire people who have good social skills, they look like they're having fun and thats wonderful for them. I sometimes wish to be that social but being an omnivert with not so much balance in being an introvert and an extrovert can be hard and takes a toll when you're like a mirror, a chameleon or a sponge that soaks it all in.

In high school, I was considered the nerdy type but I knew I wasn't. I was just smart and bright....and it worked for me, so, I got along with my teachers but in college now, it's still a whole new world that can be hard to navigate especially since the teachers do not always just care about the students but what they gain in return....you know? And this is mostly just typical for the local universities. So, even though I personally find textbooks hard to read and I just want to taught, it is not always the case and well, it's just is what it is. Either ways, I'm working on making necessary social connections and engaging with more people. I don't know what's going to happen next but fingers crossed, it'll be the best thing to happen.