So, I've been pretty positive these last few days but I'm not going to lie to you guys, today wasn't such a good day. I don't like talking about it but I've suffered with depression in the past and yes it does come back from time to time.
I have good days and bad ones, but sometimes I have really bad ones. There's been a lot of negatives in my life recently but I've been trying really hard to keep my head above water. Although, a huge wave has come and swept me under. It could be the smallest thing that triggers it, but once it's triggered there feels like there's no way out.
I'm trapped in this feeling of loneliness and longing. I feel unwanted, unloved and simply worthless. There's times when I'm thinking 'what's the point.' At this point I feel very weak and I try my best to rise above the thought but it can be hard. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want their help. But I've come to realise over the years that it's ok to ask for help. Sometimes people will be there and there's been times when they aren't but every time I've come out a stronger person.
I'm stronger than I think and I'm proud of myself. People don't talk about mental illness as much as they should. I find it very hard to talk about and so I prefer to write about it. If you're struggling with anything, find a way to control it. For me, I write. Find a passion and focus everything on that. Don't let the illness control the most valuable thing on the Earth, your life.
Thank you for reading.
Until next time,
Meliss
