I stepped into the Gentleman's club looking resplendent in my Tuxedo and cloak. It was the annual Christmas Ball and I was fair looking forward to having some down time after a stressful few weeks. Hot on my heels was Bramley, a good friend of mine despite having a face like a well fucked shoe.
As usual the drinks flowed freely and the ladies looked fine. Myself and Bramley hooked up with a bunch of other gentlemen and we commenced drinking in earnest.
At one point when we were throwing back shots of 75 year old Macallan and playing a game of Burdy or Turdy, a Detective Inspector, Georgie, I knew from Scotland Yard came over. I always had time for Georgie despite his irritatingly small chin.
Did you hear of the fire down your way the other week?
I stood up straight and took the Ostrich feather from my mouth.
Ah yes. I think I may have heard something about that. A terrible business eh?
I stuck the feather back in my mouth and readied to bend over again.
I believe the chaps on the case have identified the two bodies they found in it. Burnt to a crisp they were but, well, you know. Teeth and all that.
I paused, taking the Ostrich feather back out of my mouth and prepared to pass it to Bramley on my left who had already pulled his trousers down.
Two bodies in the cottage you say?
Georgie stroked his chin.
Yes, from what I gather it was your manservant and your cook that perished in the blaze. A terrible business indeed.
I made a wife eating jizzum face.
I thought it too much of a coincidence that they had both disappeared. Bloody inconvenient of them. So near Christmas too.
I studied Georgie closely. He was not renowned for his intellect and was a fellow gentleman, nevertheless...
Georgie knocked back a few fingers of his Whisky.
Bloody peasants, should never let them play with fire. Must have tipped over a candle when they were 'making the shaky bacon' eh!
He gave me a good natured nudge.
I smiled back.
Ah yes, that's what happens when you emancipate the peons ha!
I held out a hand and a passing waiter thudded another glass of Macallan in it. Georgie got one too. He held out his whisky.
Oh well old bean, here's to natural selection eh!
Natural selection!
I cried and we clinked glasses. Georgie beckoned to my Ostrich feather.
my turn old fellow, Burdy or Turdy!
I passed the feather to him and then halted.
You say there were two bodies in the blaze old fellow?
Georgie's eyes were bright. He did love to talk about the policing nonsense.
Oh yes old bean, we went through the ashes of that building with a fine tooth comb! Amusingly your cook's head was some distance from her body but, well, you know, fire can do all sorts of mad shit, can't it!
Fire, I suppose, yes it can. Forgive me for being obtuse old fellow but... no chance there was a.. third body at all?...
You can be as obtuse as you like Boomy! No there was no chance, we combed it I tell you.
Georgie stuck the feather in his mouth with a flourish and started fumbling with his belt.
For the briefest of moments, from the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a shadow at one of the high windows but when I turned to look, there was nothing.
I felt a shiver run down my spine. They were most likely mistaken. Ah well. It was Christmas. I necked my whisky and threw the glass at a Waiter's head then shouted above the hubbub...
BURDY OR TURDY!
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It was much later that I gingerly sat at the old pooter and fired up the discords. Let's see, what do we have in the way of...
Well once again, the chats are quiet but the comments... Oh my, they are full of delights. I have enclosed a couple of choice interactions.
SpamFarmer1: Nice post.i like post.
UncleBoom: I like post as well. The other day the mail man came with post and well... I kinda came too..
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SpamFarmer2: I liked the funny words you like today, the most liked of it. Your picture is very much like your picture. Your picture looks very beautiful. You are actually very nice and handsome. I really liked it very much. You like your smile. Actually a real man
UncleBoom: I do like my smile. It reminds me of the day I stood on the field of rantayouiné. The copper stench of blood filling my nostrils as I gazed upon the ruined bodies of those who thought to stand against me.
Despite my victory a solitary tear tracked through the filth and gore on my cheek.
I had killed husbands, father's and sons. But what I wept for most of all was the part of me that died that sorry day.
SpamFarmer2: Thank you very much. You gave me some time in very busy times and gave some adept talk that I liked so much that you can visit my profile and hope to come to me, hopefully you will give me a profile from my profile. If you see something wrong, give me suggestions so that I can work well. I know these words However, I do not mind talking here not just
UncleBoom: I will come to you. Though you may yet regret this. For as I walked the bloody path from my victory at rantayouiné a sword pierced me from below. Someone without honour who had only pretended to be among the dead.
My blade chopped down on his neck ending his sorry life. The damage was done however.
The healers tended me day and night. Till at last one came to me and said.
My lord, the blade was poisoned, you have yet mere days before the bitter end.
At this he was so overcome at the iniquity of the world he pulled a short dagger from his robe and plunged it into his own breast crying for the gods to take him and not me.
They took him, and in the days that followed they came for me too
I had yet one more trick left in this life. A trick that allows me to communicate thus to you.
But it has left me marked. Neither of the living or the dead. My blood is cold and my lungs no longer rise in time to my heart. Yet still I walk the earth. The sunlight burns me. Yet still I walk the earth. Though it be night, I will come to you.
SpamFarmer2: Thank you very much.
UncleBoom: You're welcome.
Well that was a long one!! What a rollicking time it has been this year. Steem is really going to the moon, SBD has gone past that and is still traveling. What an exciting time to be on the platform! If you have any worries, nonsense it just plain Jibber jabber you wish to spout then please, contact me. Remember, anonymity is assured, as...
