These fooking storms, eh? Will they ever end?
The Bear-Man grimaced as he pushed the door closed against another onslaught of wind and rain.
Aye, it's pish alright. Global warming.
I said with the certainty of a man who dresses his Stormin Norman to the left and has no time for hogwash.
Global warmin, nah. It's just fookin Winter, man
The Bear-Man growled like an old Alsatian with one testicle.
Pfft.
I jiggled my face in a wubbly-wup motion to show my disapproval.
The Bear-Man growled unhappily and prowled around his shop.
Whatever it is. One thing is guaranteed.
He stopped a couple of feet from me, his animal musk filling my nostrils.
It reminded me of the time my old granny thought she would make a pie out of a dead fox that she found.
We all wished we were dead that day.
And what's this one thing that is guaranteed?
I asked with a devilishly handsome raised eyebrow.
The Bear-Man tilted his chin up and looked at me defiantly.
There are no easy answers.
He uttered with much gravitas.
Aye, that's true.
I said bringing my eyebrow back down from is lofty heights in case too much devilry roused the Bear-Man's slumbering penis.
It's a fact of life, isn't it? There are no easy answers.
He stated pacing back and forth like a Roman Emperor of old delivering a speech to the senate before being stabbed till he was dead as fuck.
I guess so.
I muttered, attempting to return to my beer shelf browsing.
Think about it and you will see... THERE ARE NO EASY ANSWERS!
The Bear-Man's voice rose to a crescendo.
Aye, alright then. There are no easy answers. I get it.
I edged away from the Bear-Man who was clearly having an unhinged day.
You get it do ya?
The Bear-Man made this sound almost like a threat.
Aye, I get it, there are no easy answers.
I said with an air of exasperation.
But what if I told you there were?
The Bear-Man's voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper.
He reached under his weird serial-killer- like suede apron and pulled out a bright yellow can of beer.
Ha!! I 'ad ya there! There are Easy Answers!!
I rolled my eyes till I was dizzy and accepted the can.
Fuck sake, couldn't you just have said you were talking about a beer, instead of the pantomime?
The Bear-Man laughed.
Now where would be the fun in that!