What's a NAS?
Asked the good lady innocently as I faffed about in the kitchen.
I gave her my best James Bond look, eyebrow arched to handsome perfection.
We all have one my darling, yours is mighty fine if I do say so myself!
I walked past her and gave her a reassuring slap on the NAS.
Oh hahahah. Very good. But really, what is it?
I resisted the urge to tell her to use Google instead of thinking, like everyone else does. That would be mean though.
Network Area Storage my little pum-pa-tum-tum.
She looked puzzled, as if standing up after a giant poo only to look in the pan and see nothing there.
It's a big hard drive that is attached your Wi-Fi and you can access it from any computer or Smartphone type thing in the house.
I clarified. Somewhat brilliantly I might add. Perhaps I should rethink my career and start teaching simple things to simple people?
I could see myself now, surrounded by nubile disciples. All of them fawning at my feet as I explained how a kettle actually worked.
The good lady's face shone with a manic excitement.
Oh wow! Really! Can we get one? We have so many pics on that old pc upstairs. I would love to be able to access them from my phone!
I gave her a long and hard look. I had the niggliest feeling that the good lady was perfectly aware of what a NAS was and that somehow I was being played.
Ok then. I will have a look...
I checked online for the easiest NAS style thingmybob available and quickly found one. I was drawn to it because the top reviewer claimed - wow, I can't believe this is so easy to set up! I was literally copying stuff to and fro in less than five minutes.
I was sold, I clicked
It arrived yesterday.
After I put the little lady to bed I gently took the NAS out of its packaging. It was a sleek little beauty, an ebony delight, tantalising me with its sensual good looks.
I pushed the network cable into the router gently, murmuring sweet nothings to her reassuringly as I did so. Then I gently but firmly inserted the plug into the wall socket.
A quick flick of the button and she started to purr softly.
I smiled, like a dog smoking a cigar.
Following the instructions I installed the NAS software. It installed in mere moments. It was all going very well.
There, now all I had to do was click on Discover NAS and I was done. I did so with a manly flourish.
Cannot locate NAS
The application quit. I looked at the clock. It was only half past eight. That's alright. I will have it fixed in a jiffy and no mistake. After all, I worked in IT. This was what I did!
Five and a half hours later after a stramash of router/port opening shenanigans and installing flash plugins I finally got it working.
I went to bed a broken man.
Four and a half hours later I got up for work, even more broken.
As I sat downstairs, coffee in hand, staring into the long night, the good lady came downstairs.
Did you get the NAS working ok Daddy-Waddy?
Of course lass. It was a piece of cake.
Deep inside, the cold winds of winter blew across the frozen tundra of my heart.